NOT SAFE FOR WORK: Liberal staffer promotes "dildo-swallowing competitions" and "wet pussy shots"

A staffer to troubled and reputedly racy Victorian Liberal back-bencher Lorraine Wreford, Ben Clissold, has been denounced in state Parliament for leading a secret double-life where he runs a sedate suburban electorate office by day but by night transforms into a party-hard night-club sleaze promoter.

It is just the most recent debacle involving Ted Baillieu’s MPs along the “Frankston line.”

Hard-hitting Labor front-bencher Luke Donnellan described the scandal in remarks to Parliament that caused much gasping for air on the other side:

Cr Ben Clissold from the office of Lorraine Wreford, MP, has a little website, and it has links to the Young Liberals and encourages young Liberals to join and so forth. The best thing it does is promote places like Icon, The Loft and Spy Lounge — places which have lost their liquor licence. I do not know what messages we are sending there. It promotes cheap drink cards, short dress competitions, stripping competitions and dildo-swallowing competitions. I do not know whether they are the messages we should be sending to the youth, but maybe it is something the Young Liberals enjoy greatly. Maybe it is something that gets the young Liberals to come along and join, but I am not sure that they are appropriate messages. This is the same Cr Ben Clissold who was able to secure training facilities at the Narre Community Learning Centre for the Liberal Party before the last election. I would hope, given he was the chair of that organisation at the time, that an appropriate fee was paid for the use of that training centre.

ClissoldScandalously, VEXNEWS can reveal that Clissold has lied to his boss about curtailing his involvement in the website, which he occasionally claims is now owned by his brother.

Documents obtained by VEXNEWS reveal that the smut-master – as recently as May this year – was updated as the officially registered owner of the website maxmoose.com.au

This website in addition to publicly conducted dildo-swallowing, bikini and stripping contests prominently promotes offerings such as “wet pussy shots” which we are advised is a particularly refreshing beverage on offer in some of the nightclubs of ill-repute with which Clissold is knowingly concerned. In addition to the racy names for drinks, the maxmoose website shows what can only be described as remarkable public displays of affection with flavoured milk badged “Spitroast Sundays.” Sources familiar with Frankston nightclubs of the kind where Liberal MP Geoff Shaw once served as a bouncer and occasional criminal assault defendant were unable to explain the milky way but insisted it was all good clean fun.

Clissold, a former councillor on the notorious Casey council which is best-known for poisoning many hundreds of homes with its dodgy rubbish dump near the Brookland Greens estate, only narrowly missed out on preselection for state seats in the south-east in the past. He is believed to still be harbouring political ambitions.

The fellow is no stranger to controversy, previously insisting that Ernst Wanke Road be pronounced “Vonka” in the original German. Descendants of Ernst Wanke were appalled and insisted the street-name be pronounced correctly as “wankee” as has been the custom for hundreds of years, they said.

Maxmoose

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30 Comments

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30 responses to “NOT SAFE FOR WORK: Liberal staffer promotes "dildo-swallowing competitions" and "wet pussy shots"

  1. House of Sleaze

    Great work, Clissold

  2. House of sleaze

    This reminds me of the good ole’ days.

  3. Yellow canary jumper

    I much prefer the current than the ole days

  4. Dr Jacqui

    Sounds like fun

  5. bravo

    perhaps this part of Victoria should secede.

  6. Byron in Wahroonga

    Andy, we conservatives have so much love to share! Sure, Vex’s in-house greenies dream of Christine Milne, deep throating a bowl of tofu. We righties have hearts as big as our wide brown land, and can tolerate their perversions. How about some reciprocal tolerance, for our healthy mainstream desires??

  7. Friend of Ben's

    Entertaining read. Not much truth to it, but it is entertaining.

  8. Petro

    Show us ya tits love…Grrrrrr

  9. Finally a rising politican after my own heart!

  10. Robyn of scotts

    So what is the dildo swallowing record?

  11. Jefferson

    O dear muckraking slime. Lol lol

  12. THE REAL DIRTY DONNA (PETROVICH)

    Wheres my invite Ben?

  13. Fatty Mando

    Good to see Clissold up to his old tricks.

  14. Boofa

    Gee it would need to be a large one speaking from my recent antics on the banks of Mordialloc Creek.

  15. AiiiCeee

    Give ’em enough (soap on a) rope … and they’ll hang!

  16. supergrass

    Isn’t Lorraine Wreford having an affair with Geoff Shaw?

  17. Luscious Lorraine for MORDIALLOC

    Leave Benny alone, he is hard working, in fact very “Hard” if you know what I mean. I have sampled several of the dildoes aforementioned, and find them exhilerating. Beeny works hard for the people of Mordialloc aswel as the staff and clients of the Narre Learning Centre where is current President of the committee of managememt. He even supported the employment of a ‘ex’ bikie as manger of this casey council owned facility. This extrodinary manager even found time to sell drugs to the young students who attend this semi-uni. Unfortunately some do-gooder lagged on him and he is now being investigated by the local boys in blue. Poor Benny, he is a good bloke Really !!!!

  18. munta

    Lorraine Wreford would be upset she didnt make the pictures of the dildo comp

  19. anon

    supergrass, lorraine has had affairs with numerous males since her foray into public life as a councillor with, you guessed it ” the city of casey ‘. Her favorite haunt being the Berwick Inn, oh, I forgot, not to mention the numerous un-suspecting blokes caught in her web on lava life internet site. Geoff Shaw would just be one minor notch on her very wide belt.

  20. Blessya blessya

    Luke Donnellan’s message to Clithead Clissold: it’s better than a kick in the dick!

  21. Shambles

    I am a respected political strategist.

    I know all about placing quality Liberal staff in MPs offices. Just look at some of the talent I have selected for such positions. Jeffrey Egan. Adam Patrick Owens. Kyle Kutasi.

    They are all as respected as I am.

  22. Boofa

    Wenchy don’t tell me I’m stirring the custard of Shaw?
    Poor Percy.

  23. Pissy Chryne

    I’m interested in purchasing the dildo so it goes to a needy home and it is well used.

  24. Bobbafett

    Benny never invited me to participate in such fun

  25. Giuseppe De Simone

    A wet pussy shot is usually made of Peach Schnapps, Vodka and a drop of cranberry juice or grenadine.

    Ben Clissold is a Kennett-Baillieu faction person.

  26. Anon

    Joe, if Benny is from the Teddista faction then he deserves to be condemned for being the filth that he is. On the other hand, if you are wrong and Benny is a Krogerite he should be shielded from these baseless and vile attacks!

    Don’t you just love factionalism?

  27. Alan Jones

    Wet pussy’s are yuk, I prefer a cock sucking cowboy.

  28. Anon

    Clissold is close to Gordon Rich Phillips who is close to Andrea Coote who is close to former upper hosue leader, Phil Davis. This places them in the Kroger/Costello team.

  29. Anonymous

    Is this the best you can do Luke?

  30. Self Declared Socialite

    and I only found out about music at the age of 18! Look at me go.

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