CALLING CRAP: Conservative commentators cheer on Crean while Caucus chortles

creanleadershipThe list of conservative commentators cheering on a Simon Crean leadership change is now so long that it really does warrant examination.

Some of it might be mischief-making but some of the talk is from credible folk who put a premium on being right not just right-wing. So there can be no dispute they mean it.

But, of course, they mean it in a context where Crean, whose failed leadership is still the stuff of legend in Canberra and in caucus, where new depths of unpopularity and abysmal morale were plumbed, not even imagined now as Labor enters its Carbon Apocalypse.

Other less credible commentators are probably just repeating the Crean line to stir the pot or perhaps because they too remember him being so bad. His jargon-filled thought-bubbles would certainly be enough to pour cement in federal Labor’s coffin.

The reality is, in caucus, Crean would struggle to pull a vote other than his own, keeping in mind that most of what became his base, which then became Latham’s base is in fact a base built by the charm and skill of a Julia Gillard.

So where does this crazy Crean talk come from?

It certainly isn’t coming from the Caucus, where we have many sources than even the best of conservative commentators. To a comrade, they all laugh about the talk of Crean. It’s not come from the Canberra Press Gallery either.

We suspect it started from a cadre of well-monied and influential Melbourne businessmen who have liked – and backed – Crean for years. They know Crean from his generally well-regarded tenure at the ACTU where he talked a good game and mastered flattery of the uber-wealthy. We won’t name and shame them all because it’s not their fault they fell in with a bad ‘hole but one of them is Sol Lew, the billionaire big retailer, currently crying poor over shopping centre rents, online competition, GST thresholds and so on.

As we have previously chronicled in our fearless reporting of our days in business with the two, Lew went on to employ a former Crean Chief of Staff Michael McLeod as his spinner. McLeod went on to elbow several close Lew confidants out of the way and even got himself appointed to the boards of many of Lew’s private and public companies. One Lew insider told us recently they still haven’t figured out what McLeod actually does to justify his big salary. Whatever it is, McLeod has certainly been in a good paddock, apparently recently making plans to attend a Spanish “fat farm” known as granja de grasa.

Crean’s rather shameless role in government – a fact well-known throughout the caucus – is to loudly advocate the interests of many of his mates, including Big Retail.

He doesn’t do it because he’s on the take. His version of the national interest is one where his big, rich mates are well accommodated. Kind of like Mussolini but with a less-efficient train service.

It’s one of many reasons why Labor’s more likely to give big Dick Adams a run than Creanster.

VEXNEWS sources confirm that Crean is still friendly with and comfortable enough in the company of several prominent very rich Melbourne folk to sound off recently to several of them about how he’s feeling about life, about how Gillard is a disappointment to him, that he’s not in the centrally-co-ordinating role he was promised or assumed he’d get under Gillard and so on. His words about Wayne Swan are said to be unfriendly and critical also. Even that things could be so much better with he and Carole moved into the Lodge.

We doubt he meant such loose talk especially malevolently or to provoke bizarre leadership speculation, and we concede, in the context that we don’t like him and don’t rate him, that he does his Regional Development shtick reasonably convincingly, most of the time. We think so anyway. We haven’t researched what cockies make of the Harrold’s-dressed dandy from Middle Park via Geneva.

The Big End of Town theory is the only half-way plausible explanation for how the outrageous, laughable and unlikely proposition a Crean Labor leadership resurrection has been repeated in credible media outlets. It’s even led a few dopey punters to bet on him. The bookies must be grateful for the donation.

There won’t be a leadership change – for Labor – prior to the next election. Normally that would be considered a good sign. Not so much now. It’s more a reflection of deep pessimism about the result and a general view – that we share – that it’s not the Leader’s fault Labor is at such a low ebb while only four years into its federal administration.

Labor’s troubles are much more to do with the unpleasant but necessary dumping of Rudd and the equally unpleasant and in our view completely unnecessary wattle-on-the-lapel governing pact with the extremist Greens party, which is publicly sworn to Labor’s destruction and is as popular outside of the inner-cities as the Hendra virus at a horse-stud.

Labor should have told the Greens menace if you don’t want us, vote with Abbott, but we will do no deals with the likes of you. We suspect they won’t be repeating that mistake but the damage is done.

They are increasingly seen as carrying out a Greens party agenda, even though that is mostly an unfair criticism. The truth is the Greens agreed to much less on carbon than they’d demanded under Rudd’s leadership. Their cynical white-anting on asylum-seekers has been ignored for what looks a very promising lateral-solution in Malaysia. And the government won’t be imposing changes to the ancient institution of marriage without a mandate (no pun intended).

But, at least for now, they are being presumed guilty by association with a party so extreme they wish to strip private schools of government assistance, close Zoos, drive Israel and Max Brenner into the sea and destroy what’s left of Australian exports after the soaring AUD has taken its toll.

If the Prime Minister were to fatally injure herself doing Pilates or was inadvertently run-down by an Evan Thornley ACT-taxpayer funded electric imported-vehicle, she would not be replaced by Crean.

More likely to be Stephen Smith, if the Perth-based family man wanted it which some think unlikely, Greg Combet, who is enthusiastically endorsed by horny Bob Hawke as a fellow Messiah or, skipping to the next generation, Labor’s master-communicator and ideas-man Jason Clare These are the folk who could get the numbers, potentially. None of them are stupid enough to want to seize and sip from Labor’s currently poisoned chalice. Rudd would probably put his head above the trench to assess the battle-field, before quickly ducking down after intense cross-factional Howitzer-fire. He won’t be Leader again, despite occasional fantasies to the contrary.

And Crean has even less chance than he does.

Any other analysis is not supported by the facts.

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29 Comments

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29 responses to “CALLING CRAP: Conservative commentators cheer on Crean while Caucus chortles

  1. Chewy caramel

    Agree, they’re stupid but not half as stupid as bolta and Pearson think

  2. Giuseppe De Simone

    Simon Crean is not half the man his dad was. Frank was a class act – a true believer.

    Big right wing union bosses cuddle up to big business leaders who can manipulate prices and gouge the consumer to pay big fat wages to semi-skilled workers. Wait …. that’s the way it used to work – now we have global competition and any business that tries to jack up prices to cover stupid wage claims will face such a withering attack from its customers that it will be bankrupted before you can say “over-award conditions”.

    However, the old mates are still at it – trying to get their lap-dog into parliament so more cozy deals can be done to give them protection from the ill-winds of competition.

    I would love Crean as ALP leader – he would make that sell-out Bob Hawke look like a Marxist.

  3. Outta touch, outta time

    This article is a clear indication of how out of touch the ALp and those close to it are. The suggestions of a potential leader would come from a group that has Jason Clare in there is bizarre. I think most of these people just drink there own bathwater and love the smell of their own farts. The modern day ALP is so devoid of any talent, innovation, personality or independent thinking it is nauseating. The party will just continue to wither and die, its primary vote will continue to freefall. There is no messiah, no Hawkie, no Gough to grab it by the neck and change that around just the likes of the monotone Dull..Gillard et al. Never have I seen traditional ALP voters so shitted off and appalled by their own party. The problem is not refugees, not Carbon Pricing, it’s the party itself, the way it operates, the ruthlessness, the self serving individuals within it. The people have just had enough.

  4. Giuseppe De Simone

    I am not a member of the Federal ALP caucus. If I was a member of the Federal ALP caucus, I would be voting for Malcolm Turnbull.

  5. Ed

    Great article. I read the link but could not find evidence that the greens were “publicly sworn to Labor’s destruction”. Could you point me to it?

  6. Ewan

    Is this article a stalking horse for Shorten or Conroy?

  7. Anon

    Put aside the discussion as to the likelihood of Crean becoming PM.

    Who doubts the simple proposition that he could not be any worse than Gillard?

  8. Shambles

    I am a respected political strategist.

  9. cohenite

    “they’re stupid but not half as stupid as bolta and Pearson think”;

    How stupid is that.

  10. Abbott's Crusade of Falsehoods

    Crean should be retired at the next election. Any talk of a leadership challenge is divisive and wrong.

    Gillard is safe and maintains the support of the caucus as stated in this article. Given the circumstances of a minority government she has and is doing a remarkable job. She has achieved a lot and will continue to do so until the next election.

    Abbott is a liar and a cheap opportunist. He lacks integrity in every aspect.

    If a new election is held it will be a double dissolution. Then Greens will lose seats in the Senate as well as the seat of Melbourne.

  11. Adrian Jackson

    Simon’s alright and he live near me in Middle Park so I see him in Armstrong St shop occasionally. He would be a better ALP leader than some but he has had his go at leader.

    I would like to see Michael Danby (Melbourne Ports) as PM. Now that would be a good laugh.

  12. Byron in Wahroonga

    ***they are increasingly seen as carrying out a Greens party agenda, even though that is mostly an unfair criticism***

    Come off it, Andy. Plibersek made Rhiannon and Brown look like paragons of moderation during her Q&A segment, this week. Admiring your loyalty but you can’t blame Labor’s failure on the Greens.

  13. Tim

    I don’t think the rumour that Crean is a viable candidate is being driven by disingenuous conservative columnists or their ‘rich’ backers. I think the Liberal Party strategists are looking at the problem pragmatically and trying to identify what would the ‘smartest’ thing for Labor to do.

    The way I see it, there are 4 main issues in the community that are killing Labor. 1) Cost of living 2) The carbon tax and the way it will increase the cost of living, 3) The influence of the greens in the carbon tax, and 4) a PM that not only lied about it, but seems to be supporting the greens.

    The electorate is mad. And despite the Labor ‘belief’ in climate change, the only way Labor can circumvent the polls is to dump the carbon tax which will cut the ties to the greens, and to do that you need to remove the Prime Minister.

    How could Labor credibly do all those 3 things? It would need a leader that:

    – Is well known in the electorate
    – Can credibly dump the carbon tax without any grandiose background on the issue
    – Is accepted in Labor (a stretch according to your opinion)
    – Is a little bit boring, to calm the situation in Canberra
    – Is experienced
    – Can fight Tony Abbott.

    The only viable candidate in the Labor Party that meets those criteria is Simon Crean.
    Crean is like the Malcolm Turnbull of Labor. The Liberals hate Malcolm now, but the left think he’s great because they like him.
    Crean is a leader even the conservatives would respect.

    And if the polls don’t move, and 30-40 nervous MPs look at it objectively, Crean is their only hope.

    Let’s see how dumb those punters really are when the chips are down.

  14. coz

    so the science is settled.

  15. Silenced lamb

    Far to much censorship, blocking of comments and gagging of comments on this woebegotten site.

    The blogger here needs to be taught some manners and to stop stiffling debate.

  16. ethnic branchstacker

    Simon is a good, honourable man. Could he be any worse that what we currently have?

  17. wolf

    “the charm and skill of a Julia Gillard”

    Haven’t laughed so hard in a good while. Thanks Andy, I needed that.

  18. Giuseppe De Simone

    Despite his protestations to the contrary, if Michael Danby were Prime Minister, Adrian Jackson would not be laughing.

  19. EH

    @silenced lamb

    I’ve never been cut off on this blog – nor has that low-rent anti-semite AJ, even though he is an obvious moron

  20. Adrian Jackson

    Giuseppe De Simone – You only wish your political enemies the worst and if fat fingered Michael Danby was PM the ALP would have the worst person in the job and would loose the election big time.

    Silenced Lamb – sometimes there is a delay on comment getting up as Andrew has to check them out at time.

    EH – are you an old Holden? Dont you have a name little fella?

  21. Jay

    The Greens played a great hand of bluff poker with Labor and instead of finding a tough opponent they found a pidgeon.Ted Bailleau called their bluff and he was rewarded with the top job in Victoria. This is probably the most politically niave group Labor has ever assembled and will no doubt lead to a rout at the next election.Watching Richo and listening to his comments you can tell that he cannot believe what is occuring with Labor.

  22. no light on the hill

    The sickening parade of born to rule labor elites like crean and fergusons (x3) puts most people off…dynasty politics is killing off what once was the party of equality in OZ.

  23. Giuseppe De Simone

    The following is a joke. Like all jokes, it is funny because deep down we all believe in our hearts that it is true even though some of us would never admit it because it would be politically incorrect.

    A woman walks into the Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids…

    ‘WOW,’ the front desk bureaucrat exclaims, ‘Are they ALL yours?

    ‘Yeah they’re all mine,’ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

    She says, ‘Sit down Terry.’ All the children rush to find seats.

    ‘Well,’ says the public servant, ‘then you must be here to sign up. I’ll need all your children’s names.’

    ‘This one’s my oldest – he is Terry.’

    ‘OK, and who’s next?’

    ‘Well, this one he is Terry, also.’

    The counter staff member raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.

    Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.

    ‘All right,’ says the caseworker. ‘I’m seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?’

    Their Mother replied, ‘Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, ‘Terry!’ An’ when it’s time for dinner, I just yell ‘Terry!’ an’ they all come runnin.’ An’ if I need to stop the kid who’s running into the street, I just yell ‘Terry’ and all of them stop. It’s the smartest idea I ever had, namin’ them all Terry.’

    The brilliant bureaucrat thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively,
    ‘But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch

    ‘I call them by their surnames!’

  24. in victoria grub watching is free

    Never mind all this phantom stuff in club fed Andy.

    Did you catch Planning minister Guy squealing like a stuck pig at Frank McGuire’s ‘FAVOR BANK’ line?

    Someone better tell Guy they only hold power by one seat before he sullies the nest….

  25. Silenced Lamb

    Sorry guys,

    Landeryou redirects me to a sort of mirror-site where all comments cannot be seen, etc. I’m trying to figure why I am being treated so basely. Can’t be because I’m a troubling commenter. Weird/

  26. megsie

    I could get Jules a job at the fishmarket, that would suit her.

  27. megsie

    Swannie, a brilliant funeral director.

  28. Fresh back from the UK check out my latest loot!

    A swimming pool on public land!

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