CLUB MED TED: Victorian Premier opts out of carbon debate for some fun in the sun

lazytedbaillieuIt’s the biggest week in politics for a while. Certainly the biggest opportunity for conservative politicians in a long while. The unpopular federal government announces a tax that its opponents say is a great big tax on everything because it taxes energy expenditure and it will therefore hurt living standards and trade-exposed industries and the jobs it creates.

The Victorian government – supposedly presiding over the state with the greatest exposure to the impact of the tax because of the state’s manufacturing base and reliance on brown coal –  has been quite subdued on the subject with the possible exception of ambitious Energy minister Michael O’Brien who will be keen to frame future electricity price rises that occur on his watch in a context of carbon tax impact.

But where’s Victoria’s Premier Ted Baillieu during this momentous week?

He’s on holiday.

In fact, he’s on two weeks of fun-in-the-sun vacation with an entourage some say would put an Arab sheik to shame. Critics say it is consistent with the leisurely approach his administration is taking to “solving the problems”. Ted-friendly political insiders say this non-threatening approach to public administration is what “the punters want,” we’re not too sure.

The VEXNEWS Investigations Unit (Luxury Travel Taskforce) can exclusively reveal that Ted Baillieu and tribe are sunning themselves in the magnificent Qualia beach resort on Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays of Queensland’s far north.

Pavillions and suites in the magnificent location can run to several thousand dollars a night. The resort’s own website lavishly describes the holiday paradise:

qualia (pronounced kwah-lee-ah) in Latin means “a collection of deeper sensory experiences”. A byword for Hamilton Island luxury, qualia is situated on the secluded northern-most tip of Hamilton Island surrounded by all the splendour of the Great Barrier Reef. With a relaxed aspect and mesmerising calmness, time seems to stretch forever.

The Qualia resort is synonymous with luxury according to a well-informed travel snout who enviously described the Premier’s accommodations. Celebrities of the highest international standing including Milli Vanilli, Austen Tayshus, Danni Minogue and Mel Gibson are all rumoured to have been guests in the past.

Indeed, one-time Melbourne billionaire turned failed MP, car battery importer and pale-face Evan Thornley, today spotted at 101 Collins Street schmoozing with celebrity rabbi and chief Yeshivah fundraiser Shmuli Block, is believed to have sun-bathed at the resort at one stage, no doubt causing dangerous glare for nearby sailors and dolphins.



Filed under Uncategorized

32 responses to “CLUB MED TED: Victorian Premier opts out of carbon debate for some fun in the sun

  1. Bob Katter

    Come on Ted deserves a holiday. it can be very tiring doing nothing

  2. Patriot

    Silly Ted, I wish he was a priest,
    least the bloody show was funny, but sadly this is real

  3. Blackmambo

    I just went and saw Barry O’Farrel at a CEDA lunch give his report cards on 100 days in government. It was trenchant, galvanising and potent. You guys down south have missed out!

  4. Wotever

    Ted is mediocrity personified

  5. Ted

    I’m not lazy

  6. Craig.L.

    Who’s the guy on the right with no shirt on? VERY yummy.

  7. Anonski

    Ted has nothing to worry about so long as Danny “Whodat?” Andrews is in charge of the Victorian ALP.

  8. media watch

    cant recall a vexnews report on john brumby’s holiday destinations – look fwd to the yarn on the alp election review findings today – twas the ABC’s fault appparently…

  9. Pissy Chryne

    I love it when Alan pushes in one of my stools.

  10. Ben

    I always knew he had a real tan.

  11. Giuseppe De Simone

    This is wonderful. A Premier who is modest and honest enough to believe the State of Victoria can do very well indeed with less government. If only the whole cabinet could go on a holiday for the next three years, things would really hum along. Imagine, no new legislation for three years, no new regulations, no announcements – stability leading to growth.

  12. Byron in Wahroonga

    Pissy, Alan has torn my back passage at the Wahroonga Public Lavatory.

  13. thereishope

    Ted may be a hapless git but Mitch the snitch and Scott the rat are deceitful and dishonest. The Libs should throw them both out come Senate time.

  14. Sundontshine

    Agreed. Ryan and Bevan smasherood at ALSF. Ryan and Fifield refuse to dance with the ones that brung them. Ryan’s wife now works in Red Ted’s office hoping for preferences. And his new friendship with Judith Troeth. Holy hell.

  15. Craig.L.

    Has the guy on the right got a friend called Jake?

  16. anna

    imagine if Ted was premier of QLD during the floods…

  17. Shadow Princess

    I have been tanning with Ted. He looks so buff and taught – especially from behind. He is not as nice or obliging as my media adviser thoug. Teddles is a taker not a giver and that makes him selfish, selfish, selfish.

    Please don’t tell my wife.

  18. a)THE SOLE LEGAL FUNCTION of a Member of Parliament IS TO FREELY ADVISE the Queen in the government of the Country, according to the clearly expressed will of the people, on any matter or thing, i.e., his sole legal function is to legislate.

    b)In legislating, his SOLE LEGAL DUTY is that, like a judge entering his court, he shall enter his House of the Parliament, each official Sitting day, and with judge like dignity and decorum, he shall honestly, impartially, and searchingly examine all matters that properly may be placed before him and, with unbiased judgement, vote according to his conscience and his sense of legal responsibility.

    c)No Member of Parliament has any legal function or duty outside of his House of Parliament, unless that House officially details him otherwise.

    d)It is no legal part of his function or duty to interview Ministers of the Crown or departmental officers for and on behalf of his electors or others.

    e)Such interviewing is purely a social and moral obligation that flows from his public status; obligations, which can be, and are, performed by other non parliamentary public figures without monetary rewards, either by salary or allowances.

    f)There is no constitutional legal authority for paying Members, out of Crown revenue, for the performance of purely social responsibilities, whether that payment be a parliamentary salary and allowances, or just allowances State and Federal Parliamentary Allowance Acts notwithstanding.

  19. Ministers of the Crown are not legally nor constitutionally responsible to the Houses of the Parliament nor to the people. They are solely responsible to the Queen through the offices of Governor General, and or State Governors, as the case may be.

    Consequently, Ministers of the Crown can have no mandate of any kind from the people, neither can the political party which claims, quite legally wrongly, to appoint them. Any such claims are pure party propaganda with no legal basis whatever.

    Irrespective of whether they be Federal or State Ministers of the Crown they have precisely ONE LEGAL FUNCTION and one LEGAL DUTY:

    a)Their legal function is to administer departments of State on behalf of the Queen and in accordance with parliamentary legislation relating to their specific department.

    b)For this legal function they are paid salaries out of Crown revenue and, like other departmental officers, they are paid servants of the Crown, excepting that other paid public servants are generally secure in their appointment until retirement whilst Ministers are wholly dependent upon the Monarchy (through its Representatives) and can be dismissed at will by that Monarchy.

    c)The legal DUTY of the Ministers of the Crown is that, by virtue of being Ministers, they become AUTOMATICALLY honorary advisors, to the Queen through Her Representatives.

    d)As honorary advisors they AUTOMATICALLY are Members of the Executive Council (State or Federal) which is set up by the Constitutions to give advice to the Queen, or legal government of the Commonwealth or the State.

  20. Stay Up there

    Stay up In Queensland Ted infinito so we can see some sensible Liberals here run the show eg the like of Bernie Finn or Terry Mulder or Matthew Guy! Not you because you are so asleep at the wheel like Louise Asher is!
    Wish Tony Abbott could be both PM and Premier too because he Tony doesnot sycophantically pander to the most aggressive anti-life, pro carbon tax ALP women eg Gillard like you often have! Well we havenot forgotten your time with Oprah and Giggly girlie inept incompetent lowest rating ALP PM ever! Red Ted ,Red Gillard not doing their jobs and the voters can see it!

  21. Michael

    Fine Arthur Chresby but which old queen is he responsible to?

  22. H the B

    Ted is mediocrity personified

    Posted by Wotever | July 12, 2011, 15:09

    Don’t give mediocrity a bad name. Fix the problems. Can Takeaway Ted fix himself? Where’s Tristan?

  23. To Michael-

    “The Royal Style and Titles Act 1973 (Commonwealth) which purports to provide authority for the title of ‘Queen of Australia’ is void and of no effect, for Her Majesty cannot be delegated plenary sovereignty drawn from a subordinate government by operation of law. Subsequently the Monarch cannot sub-delegate her own position pro ipse, by sub-ordinate power. Nor can Her Majesty be delegated as plenary sovereign within the context of sub-ordinate government. Similarly, sub-ordinate legislation cannot impart authority to its principle source. The Queensland Parliament is a delegated legislature, as is the Commonwealth Parliament, and as such, is devoid of the sovereignty of the Parliament at Westminster, and is thereby not competent to constrain or authorise the Prerogative. This principle similarly applies to the Parliament of the Commonwealth of Australia. A priori, the title ‘Queen of Australia’ has no standing at law, and the Royal Style and Titles Act 1973 (Commonwealth, and the that of the Queensland legislature purporting to confer upon Her Majesty, the title ‘Queen of Australia’ is, for the above reasons, a nullity. A fortiori, any letters patent purportedly so authorised are void ab initio.”


    The Australian public created a Commonwealth of Australia, under the Crown of the United Kingdom, governed by a Parliament of the Commonwealth of Australia, with a head of state being the Governor General of the Commonwealth of Australia.

    Those entities cannot be changed without the majority of Aussies in all states agreeing to make changes. Yet Mr Whitlam unlawfully replaced those things with Australia, the Queen of Australia, the Parliament of Australia and the Governor General of Australia.

    While those new names sound fine, they have no lawful authority. And by that switcheroo (substituting an unlawful non-entity for the real Commonwealth of Australia) a de-facto, illegal corporate reality has stolen Australia from us Aussies.
    –Chris Field

  24. delicious lusty

    Guiseppe stp deluding yourself ted is a lazy fucker, with the prize being the role; not What you can do.

  25. Craig.L.

    I love Queens

  26. Mick

    What the hell is this nuffer taking a holiday from? Sitting in his office contemplating how best to protect vandalism in Collingwood from decay?

    It is an amazing testimony to how horribly Brumby mishandled the Nixon saga and the Desal plant that Ted Failyou was ever able to become the most useless premier of Victoria in decades.


    H the B, Tristan is currently working under me. And Serge…

  28. Giuseppe De Simone

    Without a doubt, Ted is the best Liberal Premier for 25 years. David Davis is the best Liberal Leader of the Upper House for 25 years. Louise Asher is the worst Liberal Deputy Leader for 25 years. The Nationals Hall is the best Deputy Premier for 25 years.

  29. delicious lusty

    You really are a light weight guiseppe. The high jump bar for ted is pretty low mate

  30. delicious lusty

    Remember the compositions the bailieus were able to do in the 1890’s. It saved their hyde. Very few have taken so much from victoria and prospered.

  31. delicious lusty

    Few have acted like the bailieus in the 1890’s and prospered. Those sneaky compositions!

  32. Anonymous

    Well done Ted. Hope u had a great holiday at Hamilton Island. A true Australian supporting Australian tourism.

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