PISSTAKE: Federal MP expresses Qantas baggage fears


Federal MP Jamie Briggs – and former Howard staffer who championed occasionally unpopular workplace relations reforms – has confided in parliamentary colleagues that he is especially happy with the new, nameless electronic Qantas baggage tags because he says he was targeted by merciless TWU baggage handlers for unimaginable acts of cruelty against his luggage.

Briggs reckons that the unionist baggage handlers would – during the height of tensions involving Workchoices – look for the bags of those involved in senior levels of government. Rather than pick on the the obviously powerful – which could get them into bother with supervisors – Briggs is convinced he and a number of other advisers were singled out for rough justice at the Canberra Airport.

His remarks were overheard recently in the cosseted, occasionally slap-happy, confines of Chairman’s Lounge.

They arose in the context of international disgust at claims by an airline passenger on Youtube who claimed airline workers had urinated in his baggage and stolen from him.

It isn’t known whether Briggs has had anything to fear on that front.

He has also specifically complained that his bags have been delayed or lost more times than is statistically likely or possible with innocent explanation. Baggage handlers with a grudge could have sent Briggs’ smalls to all manner of exotic locations, from Pago Pago to Dallas/Fort Worth.

Life can be cruel.



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11 responses to “PISSTAKE: Federal MP expresses Qantas baggage fears

  1. Wotever

    He is the biggest Dickhead. Ever

  2. The Truth

    I guess he has jumbo sized luggage to go with his oversized ego and hockey-esque girth. If only his ability lived up to a small portion of his self promotion skills he might actually be worthwhile in the parliament. As it is though he is a waste of space and a leaker.

  3. Unity Boy

    He is a massive wanker and if that’s all that has been inflicted upon him then that is less than his impact on the workers. A bloke from mildura told me a story about him. He was after one season at Glenelg District Cricket Club the biggest knobjockey and most disliked arrogant clown in the club. Now that is no small feat in a club renowned for having a high ratio of tossers and middle class ignoramus. Glenelg was the club the Chappell brothers played for in SA and no reflection on those great men is intended!

  4. Baggage Man

    The only thing we found in his bag was a pair of pink frilly knickers and a slightly bent dildo with the name “Little Johnny” written on it.

  5. QFF Free Lunch Deals

    How many politicians and senior public servants accrue fly buy points which they then cash in and use for private trips for the family.

    The Frequent fly buy loyalty schemes are a con and should be banned. As they say there is no such thing as a free lunch. The main reason they are not banned is that the pollies and the senior players all have their snots in the trough.

    Take a look at the 4C discounted petrol deals. Everyone knows they up the price of petrol to offset the discount. If you do not have a FF Loyalty card your paying for someone else’s benefit

  6. Gusher

    I would piss in his ear anytime!

  7. Bomber

    Ha! That fat wishes someone gave a shit about him enough to secretly piss in his bag. Believe me dipshit, if I was going to with your luggage, I would lay big fat right on top of your frilly panties – and leave a card with my number stuck in.

  8. Giuseppe De Simone

    It is never safe to talk in the confines of the Chairman’s Lounge as Vexnews has spies everywhere.

  9. Giuseppe De Simone

    It is never safe to talk where others may overhear – even in the seemingly private confines of the Chairman’s Lounge. The media have spies everyhere and there’s always someone prepared to leak a juicy bit of gossip. A whingeing politician makes for very good copy.

  10. Anonymous

    Just take a look at what happened to Blanche and Sue.

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