ONE NIGHT IN PARIS: Greens staffer's drunken budget night threat-to-kill rampage exposed

davidparis2Greens political party staffer David Paris had a wild federal Budget night by all accounts at Canberra night-spots including one of its most notorious and seedy dives the Holy Grail.

The hard-drinking, hat-wearing Western Australian alleged baby-daddy even made threats to kill the hard-working bar-staff via the social networking site “Twitter” writing:

For the third time tonight a glassy has tried to take my half finished neat whisky.#stabby

Leaving aside the patronising job-snob term “glassy” which we take to mean refers to bar-staff cleaning up after the inebriated and thoroughly arrogant chap, the use of the word “stabby” could well be considered a threat to kill under the laws of the Australian Capital Territory, which have only recently been extended to prohibit bestiality. Ominously, Paris is known to be a close consort of Andrew Marlton, who also trades as “First Dog on the Moon” for an ailing left-wing email newsletter.

Some believe Paris was forced to leave Western Australia after being seen in black leather and a boa without a permit (pictured here).davidparis (1)Since then, he has tried to cultivate a more rugged image, drinking his whisky neat and terrorising Canberra bar-workers.

By the low standards of his home- state, he is considered something of an effete, impudent snob, insiders say. In the nation’s capital, on a salary thought to be in excess of $1200 per week, Paris enjoys a senior and cushy role in the extreme-left Greens party which he modestly describes as:

Developing, coordinating and executing social media and web strategy, campaigns and online content for Senators Bob Brown, Christine Milne, Rachel Siewert, Sarah Hanson-Young, and Scott Ludlam, and Member for Melbourne Adam Bandt MP.

Perhaps some of that work would extend to include advice about what not to Tweet. And why it’s prudent to Tweet while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs of addiction.

Taxpayers are no doubt also comforted to know he attends work drunk:

And now a mildly intoxicated 1am media strategy session

image

Not for the first time, we hear.

UPDATE: In a shock update, VEXNEWS reports alleged hat-wearing baby-daddy, Greens staffer and prospective Canberra bar-staff attacker David Paris has been frantically attempting to connect with what he claims to be at least 20 ex-girlfriends (and possibly as many as 30):

*ends another awkward just-making-sure conversation with ex-girlfriend* 18 to go. #sigh

Paris – known to have commitment issues and reputedly accused once by Senator Sarah Hanson-Young of being a “man-whore” – originally hails from Western Australia where the age of consent among family members is thought to be as low as eleven years old, which is considered the only sensible explanation for his spectacular number of ex’s at his quirky, youthful hat-wearing age. Kissing cousins on the furthest branches of the Paris family tree have been no doubt highly troubled by hearing from the black (or Green) sheep of the clan, years after they thought he’d been banished to the Australian Capital Territory, regarded by most in Perth (rightly) as a foreign nation.

The anguished Greens staffer has tweeted that none of the women he has called about his status as a prospective baby-daddy have been willing to confirm that. Quite understandable in the circumstances.

Experts say those with a similar number of sexual partners (whether within the family or otherwise) in Paris’s age group should urgently seek medical attention or testing to minimise the risk of having potentially life-threatening undiagnosed sexually transmitted diseases including the killer disease HIV, syphilis or gonorrhea .

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52 Comments

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52 responses to “ONE NIGHT IN PARIS: Greens staffer's drunken budget night threat-to-kill rampage exposed

  1. Jeremy

    I have never seen a more laughable beat up. I love this site but come on, #stabby is Twitter slang used on a regular basis to express frustration, not a death threat. Simply do a Twitter search for #Stabby and you’ll see it’s used very frequently. No indication was provided in his tweets to indicate an intention of violence towards anyone. A simple look at bar work classifieds shows that ‘glassy’ is a term those bar workers apply to themselves and is not a pejorative. Being intoxicated while working though is not defensible (although seems to be ingrained into our political culture) although there is an unsubstanciated implication of other drug use. Some of the allegations in this article though are lacking in substance and could be considered libellous.

  2. blackmambo

    lol…we are watching you..

    Seriously. He’s a young overpaid and underqualified idiot. There are many and they are not confined to the Left.

    Just like the “democracy ain’t cheap” moron from the Libs who thought catching public trasport was beneath him and blew $900 on an electrical cabcharge bender but got caught via his twittering:

    http://www.news.com.au/lib-says-hell-repay-900-cab-fare/story-e6frf7kx-1226027714351

  3. Harry the B

    I hope the whisky is from a sustainable source. I’m worried there may be Peak Whisky coming.

    ACT NOW!

  4. Harvey

    What a disgusting individual, and a complete waste of taxpayer monies. I’ll bet he even charged that homosexual cowboy hat back to parliamentary expenses.

  5. Babby mamma

    You can delete the “alleged”.

  6. AussieJazzman

    The saddest thing about this is that this article has apparently been written by a grown man, rather than by the puffed-up ‘I’ve done Year 10 legal studies’ 17 year old that the content would seem to indicate.

    Also, if calling someone employed to clear glasses at a bar a ‘glassy’ means you’re elitist, does that also apply to calling someone who works a trade a ‘tradie’? Because if so, someone should let all those ‘Australia’s hottest tradies’ women’s magazines know that they’re secretly furthering the cause of the Glorious Revolution.

  7. anon

    Sounds like he is much better suited to the Liberal Party.

  8. Zaf

    What fun! More proof that Vexnews is produced by Ten Pound Poms.

    (Is that patronising? Oh I do hope not. Because I love Vexnews, I read it daily, I cannot have a BM without doing this, I am addicted. Give me vexnews or give me death. Wait, make that deaff.)

  9. In Paris

    You missed the best point – clearly David and Crikey are in cahoots. Did you even see the tweet where firstDog endorsed his candidature?

    I also hate people who wear hats, have children and drink scotch.

    Therefore I commend this article’s substance, content and use of great images.

    Why is there no concern for the cow who had to die to make that hat tho? Same goes for the rare feather boa? These are special creatures from god’s green earth.

    Patriots, I demand a campaign to prevent people claiming to defend the environment putting things on their heads.

  10. ben_hr

    I have it on good authority that that particular GREENS staffer was drinking Scotch. Don’t they know how environmentally unfriendly it is? They literally ship it from the other side of the planet!

    We’re expected to believe they’re all about the planet, except when it conflicts with their desire for luxury import goods. Disgraceful.

  11. PGEE

    This article is bad fiction in the vein of The Sun, should have read “drunken Greens IT staffer impregnates alien, stabs 20 in orgy of drunken violence- links to Al Qaeda suspected” BTW D Paris is about as “hard drinking” as The Pope (one of the sober ones)The author is a Tweet Twat :0D

  12. Bob

    Partronising, eh?

  13. Bob

    Patronising, eh?

  14. Words on a Platform

    $1200/week is only $60,000/year i.e., not megabucks.

  15. Hyperbowl to the mass guys. He wasn’t threatening to kill and making a joke about 18-ex girlfriends being pregnant really means nothing. Please stick to real news. This article is worse than the crap that sometimes makes it into mX. Pure drivel.

  16. blackmambo

    yeah Vexx

    I remember really loving this site a couple of years ago. It’s really gone downhill.

    I did love the Emily the Strange link the other day, you do that stiff very very well.

  17. Ben

    My heart goes out to all his former girlfriends – and dissing working class Australians is certainly a concern too. (Newsflash: Women are not objects. Low paid workers have feelings.)

    Let’s hope David Paris is able to find the help he needs. For now, I’d advise the Greens to let go of him. It’s the ethical thing to do.

  18. Cr Craig

    Anytime you’d like to come over from the girls to the dark side let me know Davey, be hot to see you wearing a hat and nothing else.

  19. Alexander White

    Has Paris ever been in the same room as Al Gore?

  20. Will the Greens clean-up!

    Staying that way.

  21. Free union

    This guys behavior can only tell me one thing, Marco Bolano has joined the Greens!!!!

  22. lighten up

    Had to laugh at this shallow half drunk fool….let’s give him the balance of power sometime soon….

  23. twits versus tweerps

    The Greens is no doubt the vehicle for assorted twits of all descriptions, however Labor is morphing into some weird kind born-to-rule fiefdom of sons and daughters of power brokers.

    The SDA factional bosses latest move to maintain an SDA union bosses son in young Labor leadership is a slap in the face of those social democratic notions of merit and opportunity for all.

    Will born-to-rule tweerps inherit the Labor party?

    http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/young-labor-same-old-rifts-20110511-1ej0u.html

  24. Adrian Jackson

    I watched former ALP MP and now gaol bird Gordon Nuttal whimpering in the Parliament of Queensland today in ABC News 24. The MP’s mostly did not buy this plea to not fine him $82,000 for contempt of Parliament.

    Yet another Labour factional deal success story. What faction was Nuttal in I wonder or are all Queensland MP of the right leaning variety.

  25. Princess of the Parliament

    I spent one night in Paris but I enjoyed it more when Paris spent one night in me. Ohh my cheeks are sweating at the memory of his manliness….ohhh, please Paris, come and work in my office again.

  26. anon

    Andy why dont you explain the forgeries by your mates?

  27. wolf

    There is Rapke dirt in the news so I came straight here only to see the same 2 day old story. I would have thought andyleaks would be all over this, lift your game! Where is that report?

  28. Budding Conservative

    This is what you don’t see in the news.
    Fantastic, these leeches on our hard earned cash need to be weeded out.

  29. Anonymous

    Not only is this story a ridiculous beat-up, but it’s not very interesting or even funny!

    Lift your game Vex News.

  30. Cardinal Pell

    Brother Abbott don’t forget Sunday School at St Chesters tomorrow 8am sharp. We will continue to induct the young lads into our Choir in the Priest’s quarters.

  31. Shambles

    I am a respected political strategist.

    Why were all those people not talking to me at the Holy Grail on Wednesday night?

  32. Wendy

    This is a scream. No Lib staffer has EVER had a drink at the Holy Grail. They are all tea tottalers and puritans. Monks and nuns.

    Is this the best you can do? A tweet against a Green? How about the baffled eared dork’s budget reply with no costings and no policies? How about that fat fark Hockey who will deliver a surplus with no cuts, oh, except the 12000 people he’ll make unemployed!

    How about the Libs opposing the very mental health policies they proposed two weeks ago?

    I’m still laughing …

  33. Greenista

    Wendy is right about Liberal policies and drinking habits but surely the greens can lead the way with non violent twitting.

    no more stabbing please.

  34. Melbourne Green

    Melbourne Greens only drink vegetarian based drinks and have non violent online presence.

  35. in humane policy

    Greens policy to force refugees to substandard housing in the urban fringe suburbs is inhumane.

  36. Melbourne Green

    We would love to take more in Melbourne but we are full.

  37. Wendy

    What housing policy Mr/s ‘In humane policy”?

    Can you reference this please? Show us where you got this from you mendacious frog. You just made this up because you’re politically constipated.

  38. Syphologist

    “Substandard housing in the urban fringe suburbs”

    … the type of house for which many of us pay $400,000 or more of our own money …

    … but I guess not having a hipster coffee closet in every second doorway does tend to lower the desirability of the neighbourhood.

  39. No fringe

    Rents are pushing families to 100km from Melbourne to find rentals for less than $350 a week.
    Others are cramming into Melton and epping houses with two or three couples to make their rent lower.

    These are things the various elites, lib lab and greens on this and other political sites have zero idea about.

    And yes new house and land packages are $450k in these poorly serviced outer suburbs – thus locking many into renting for ever.
    the greens in thre levels of government oppose new land releases, oppose medium density but ask for refugee intake to be lifted.
    The libs let profit mad developers sell blocks to interstate and international speculators.

    No party has a sensible housing policy. All are dishonest and cruel to new arrivals, first home buyers and renters.

  40. Wendy

    What are you talking about Syphologist, or Syphalitic or whatever you call yourself. Show us one example of asylum seekers being given $400K houses. Go on, name one, show one, cite one? Can’t do it, can you?

    Now, how about the cheap homes service man and women get? How about taxpayers shelling out for some dumb private like Adrian Jackson to live in while they shuffle papers for the navy? Is that what you’re worried about?

  41. Candy pops

    The seasoned Greens play candy pop politics on population.
    We have snob inner city Greens councillors opposing public buses in elite postcodes and Federal politicians posturing about refugees knowing full well that those refugees must seek housing in jobless places far from their voters.

    To top it off we have the small Australia posturing from the Greens – on environmental grounds only ofcourse.

    The state Greens have dodged any of these debates by referring all policies to the federal website.

    However, in Victoria we also that Greens policies mean nothing and power means everything when the Greens candidiate was expelled for standing up for the Greens written policy on Hazelwood power station as opposed by the day to day policy shift announced by would be Greens leader Greg Barbar.

    So let’s drop the pretense that the Greens party offers honest or well planned policy.

    The Greens Party has joined Abbott in the populist path to hell a long time ago.

    Small Australia is the just the flip side of One Nations white Australia.

    The old Australian racist wolf dressed in new green sheeps skin.

    So you can dropped the superior tone Wendy and crawl back under your inner city NYMBY rock.

  42. Barista Refugee

    Living in the urban fringe suburbs is inhumane. No good coffee shindigs out there for good little socialists to get all steamed up about the non-issues of the day.

  43. Latte refugees

    Many people are escaping to regional citeis = for better life with no Greens…try Geelong.

  44. Greens Nonsense Party

    The Australian Greens party would be treated as a joke party in other country – expecting them to have real policies on issue like housing and population is naive in the extreme.

  45. Oz Greens' racism stand out a mile

    The racism in Greens zero population stance stands out a mile. So much hang ringing about the consumption of new comers…

    If you Greens are concerned about pollution in Australian then why not reduce consumption and pollution in Australia on a per head basis?

    Sure a low carbon 40 million Australians is better than the current massive carbon rates of 22 million?

    Oh I forgot – Blaming future migrants is an easier way out than telling your own mainly Australian-born voter base to take less trips to Bali and Vietnam.

    Better still why not put an extra ‘super carbon tax’ on the ‘super carbon’ emitting inner city suburbs.

  46. Greens all but finished

    I am not sure why anyone is still debating the Greens on any issue.

    The balance of power in the senate is a once off situation.

    Now that even left-wing liberals like Baillieu have ditched the Greens it is hard to see what role they have in the future.

    In may ways the Liberal preference arrangement was always too weird to last. How do you claim that Labor is too close to Liberals and then court the Liberal preferences?

    It was one weird ‘hate triangle’ – we hate Labor for being like the Liberals you voted for now can we please have your second preference so we can stop Labor behaving like the liberals you voted for in the first place….

    Having been denied Liberal preferences in Victoria the Greens are now just an alternative form of informal voting.

  47. 3party farce

    It is wonderful to watch the moral hypocrisy of greens and labor supporters on this blog.
    The new 3 party reality is creating a weak federal government that is dependent on green support.
    This is eating away at labor’s base vote every month. It us terminal becuase the greens are toxic.

    In Victoria where the libs ditched the greens we have the other scenario where 4 labor seats are now dependent on liberal preference. How can labor be an effective opposition when 4 core seats need to be nice enough to libs to get there preferences.
    Labors fate is sealed here. It has not drafted enough new talent into safe seats to form an opposition. It is now made up of too man brimbank participants. These largely mute creatures are good at branch stacking and little else… Media management, community engagement and public speaking are all outside their skill sets.

    To win in Victoria labor must take the liberals head on about services in the middle and outer suburbs and it cannot do that as long as it needs liberal preferences in upto 6 innercity seats.
    In the key eastern and south eastern seats it needs to win to win government it requires greens preferences.
    The liberals have added to their base vote by rejecting the greens and this has seen large swings in safe labor areas.

    By overcompensating on the left front the labor party has opened itself up to erosion from both sides.

    In terms of governance and policy Australia is drifting into shallow left and right populism that will see that last decade of the mining boom a wasted opportunity.
    Small business wealth, wages as a share of the economy
    and home ownership will all continue to decline in the next ten years.
    Australia will maintain a triple A rating for the economy but will not be a triple A opportunity for our citizens. This is the price we will all pay for the 3 party farce that is now in place.

  48. Didvid.S

    There’s no doubt this article is defamatory.

    Let’s hope David takes it to court. He could bag some cash AND sink VexNews.

    That would be a great day.

  49. Wendy

    To the person who blogged that the Greens would be considered a joke in nay other country, do you mean Germany for instance, where they are a major party who have held balance of power? The UK, where they won first ever seats? The EU? I think the joke is on you, ignoramous.

  50. Piv

    Wendy you dried up old hag, there is a great difference between the Greens of Germany and that of the looney Australian variety. Namely, the German Greens are able to act in a responsible manner with regards to economic, social and foreign policy as they are not beholden to far left, nut job, crack pots. They have mainstream success because they represent mainstream values. To suggest that the two parties are one and the same is misleading.

  51. Wendy

    Pig, oops I mean Piv, please provide evidence for your far fetched claim. Only someone bereft of rational discourse would resport to such infantile name calling. Does it make you feel all empowered and manly? Does using words like ‘crack pot’ make you all sweaty? Honestly, it’s obvious that you cannot mount anything, let alone a decent political argument.

    See the German Greens platform – carbon tax, electric vehicles, wind & solar energy, opposition to foreign wars, drug reform, greater social welfare etc. Read it Piv, see if you can pick out the ‘crack pot’ and ‘looney’ words, then get back to me. 2 out of 10.

  52. Adrian Jackson

    Wendy (15 May 11) I never applied for a Defence home loan and for as much as possible in my Army career I lived in my private house in that I bought with my own money.

    Why call Army Private “dumb” as they are the back bone of the Army and the reason we Officers exist; to led them.

    Married (de facto) couples in the ADF can live in a MQ (Married Quarter) on or near base but they pay rent just like you probably do. Even single ADF members living in barracks or a mess pay R&Q (Rations & Quarters) charges too.

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