The hard-drinking, hat-wearing Western Australian alleged baby-daddy even made threats to kill the hard-working bar-staff via the social networking site â€œTwitterâ€ writing:
For the third time tonight a glassy has tried to take my half finished neat whisky.#stabby
Leaving aside the patronising job-snob term â€œglassyâ€ which we take to mean refers to bar-staff cleaning up after the inebriated and thoroughly arrogant chap, the use of the word â€œstabbyâ€ could well be considered a threat to kill under the laws of the Australian Capital Territory, which have only recently been extended to prohibit bestiality. Ominously, Paris is known to be a close consort of Andrew Marlton, who also trades as â€œFirst Dog on the Moonâ€ for an ailing left-wing email newsletter.
Some believe Paris was forced to leave Western Australia after being seen in black leather and a boa without a permit (pictured here).Since then, he has tried to cultivate a more rugged image, drinking his whisky neat and terrorising Canberra bar-workers.
By the low standards of his home- state, he is considered something of an effete, impudent snob, insiders say. In the nation’s capital, on a salary thought to be in excess of $1200 per week,Â Paris enjoys a senior and cushy role in the extreme-left Greens party which he modestly describes as:
Developing, coordinating and executing social media and web strategy, campaigns and online content for Senators Bob Brown, Christine Milne, Rachel Siewert, Sarah Hanson-Young, and Scott Ludlam, and Member for Melbourne Adam Bandt MP.
Perhaps some of that work would extend to include advice about what not to Tweet. And why it’s prudent to Tweet while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs of addiction.
Taxpayers are no doubt also comforted to know he attends work drunk:
And now a mildly intoxicated 1am media strategy session
Not for the first time, we hear.
UPDATE: In a shock update, VEXNEWS reports alleged hat-wearing baby-daddy, Greens staffer and prospective Canberra bar-staff attacker David Paris has been frantically attempting to connect with what he claims to be at least 20 ex-girlfriends (and possibly as many as 30):
*ends another awkward just-making-sure conversation with ex-girlfriend* 18 to go. #sigh
Paris – known to have commitment issues and reputedly accused once by Senator Sarah Hanson-Young of being a “man-whore” – originally hails from Western Australia where the age of consent among family members is thought to be as low as eleven years old, which is considered the only sensible explanation for his spectacular number of ex’s at his quirky, youthful hat-wearing age. Kissing cousins on the furthest branches of the Paris family tree have been no doubt highly troubled by hearing from the black (or Green) sheep of the clan, years after they thought he’d been banished to the Australian Capital Territory, regarded by most in Perth (rightly) as a foreign nation.
The anguished Greens staffer has tweeted that none of the women he has called about his status as a prospective baby-daddy have been willing to confirm that. Quite understandable in the circumstances.
Experts say those with a similar number of sexual partners (whether within the family or otherwise) in Paris’s age group should urgently seek medical attention or testing to minimise the risk of having potentially life-threatening undiagnosed sexually transmitted diseases including the killer disease HIV,Â syphilis orÂ gonorrhea .