Daily Archives: April 16, 2011

ROYAL IGNORANCE: All is we know is that we knowing nothing

Royal wedding danceLADBROKES – a betting agency here in Blighty – reckons Dancing Queen by Abba will be the first tune Our Will and Kate will step out to at their royal wedding reception.

And even more ridiculous, second favourite is Candle in the Wind, a song played at Our Will’s mum’s funeral back in 1997.

The bookies are surely having a laugh.

Here is the official odds list by Ladbrokes.

  • Abba – Dancing Queen – 6/4
  • Elton John – Candle in the Wind – 6/1
  • Elton John – Something About the Way You Look Tonight – 6/1
  • Lionel Ritchie – All Night Long – 8/1
  • Robbie Williams – Angels – 10/1
  • David Gray – This Year’s Love – 12/1
  • Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes – I’ve Had the Time of My Life – 15/1
  • Irene Cara – Fame – 33/1
  • Dead Kennedys – Too Drunk to F**k – 1500/1 (VEX odds)
  • Prodigy – Smack My Bitch Up – Prodigy – 1500/1 (VEX odds) [Editor: clearly a reference to the distasteful back of the Hummer bride-beating incident extensively reported this week]

So, with this news, you can literally bet London to a brick that the Royal Couple will do anything, even the Chicken Dance, before rocking to the ABBA anthem or Elton John’s funeral dirge.

For months now, the British media has been trying to find exclusives regarding the Royal Wedding.

They are desperate to find out any little tit-bit of information about the Wedding of the Century.

But they didn’t even know Prince Wills’ Stag Party happened until weeks after the event.

The British media and the Paps have been asleep at the wheel and unless Prince Andrew or Fergie are running the fix to rake in some cash, anyone knowing anything about the wedding before it happens is highly unlikely!

Speculation, and only speculation, is all you are going to find in British newspapers.

Pundits, royal watchers and the man in the street are commenting on what they think is going to happen on April 29.

VEXNEWS visited a Northern Ireland wedding dress shop recently to find out the dirt on the wedding – an unlikely place to discover inside gossip, but as relevant as any similar etablishment in London.

Checking out wedding dresses
INTREPID: VEXNEWS correspondent gets lowdown on wedding dresses!

Lisa, from Ivory Bridal (www.ivorybridal.co.uk) in Port Stewart, revealed the only thing we know about Our Kate’s dress is that there will be reproductions of it on show in London within six hours of her coming into public view.

(It will take longer for other brides-to-be to get their hands on their own copy of the royal rags, with six-month turnarounds expected from the Chinese counterfeiters.)

Sarah Burton, creative director of Alexander McQueen, is the name  emerging  as the designer of Our Kate’s dress. But that could be a red herring.

So keep your betting cash because the only thing we know for certain is governments everywhere will be announcing tax increases, policy backflips and elecorate scandals under the cover of media darkness on April 29.

MORE UK VIEWS & SPEWS: www.davidsaunderson.co.uk

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UNDER-HANDED: The Age's John Silvester makes crime pay by boosting crook-book in which he is an investor

silvester450The Age’s pugnacious and pompous John Silvester has made millions from crime, reporting on it by chumming up with cops and crooks alike. And telling their stories for his own enrichment, in crook-books and TV series.

A SCREED OF GREED
In Saturday’s Age, itself a monument to sometimes fanatic lefty judgmentalism and preaching, prominently displayed on its back-page, in the millionaire scribe’s column of the year Naked City – with bare-faced cheek – Silvester spruiks the latest crook-book from a former heroin-dealer and prison escapee David McMillan and then admits mid-way through the promotional rant:

(Disclaimer: Your correspondent was so impressed with the initial manuscript he invested in its publication. This can be justified on only two grounds: public interest and private greed.)

This is a breath-taking admission of a rather serious conflict of interest between his duty as a supposedly industry-best impartial columnist and his personal investment. It comes complete with a highly dubious public interest assertion that simply doesn’t stack up. McMillan has previously written a “true crime” book and according to a review of it published in The Age that described how the retired heroin-dealer lives these days:

The location is Chislehurst, a village turned suburb south of London. It’s outer commuter belt, where collars are white, lanes leafy and mortgages hefty. Richmal Crompton, who wrote the William books, lived here. Now David McMillan does, too, in a two-storey brick house with a Porsche in the drive, Asian antiques in the hall and champagne in the refrigerator.

Porsche, there is no substitute. Not exactly down-and-out without any means of having his voice heard. It’s clearly just a business arrangement. Public interest is just something he threw in to make himself feel a little cleaner.

THE SPIN ENDS HERE
And why not? Silvester has already made millions of dollars from his own line of crook-books and good luck to him for showing more entrepreneurial enthusiasm than the average Fairfax Media House whiner who complain loudly about how little ‘The Man’ is paying them and conspire in new and exciting ways to cheat on expenses.

The Age (newspaper) is the high church of whiny, preachy, lefty judgmentalism, denouncing those they don’t like for all manner of ethical failings. And yet they barely seem to comprehend the most blatant acts of corruption and conflicts of interest when it comes to their own. They have the moral compass and faux-rectitude of the Bible-thumping fraudster televangelist with his mansions, bimbos and cocaine habit…

But investing in a heroin-dealer criminal’s tome and then using space in the Saturday edition of the Age to promote book-sales while conceding a motivation rooted in “private greed”? That does seem unusually dodgy even by the ethical standards of the heroin-dealer author whose book Silvester financed. The multi-millionaire crook-book author concludes:

Now in his 50s, he (the heroin-dealer) has decided that writing about crime is much easier than committing it. Ain’t that the truth.

DOES A GLIB DISCLAIMER EXCUSE ANYTHING & EVERYTHING?
So it seems in Silvester’s world that cheeky, self-deprecating disclaimers are a moral get-out-of-jail-free card for those profiting from a heroin-dealer’s book or cashing in on crime through books and TV series that certainly have the effect of glamourising and sensationalising what are in fact are bleak, troubled lives.

John Silvester’s version of truth, clouded by “private greed,” is quite the piece of work. Forgive us for not being very impressed at all. It’s far too rich for our taste.

While there appears to have been some kind of delay, the book was initially scheduled, according to that ever-reliable source Wikipedia, for launch on April 1st this year. We think that says it all.

LYING LIARS WHO LIE FOR LUCRE
Silvester and the former heroin-dealer appear to have multiple books planned on his life and crimes. McMillan reveals that his books and the account in the recent Underbelly show on his life contain significant factual inconsistencies. It’s not clear which liar is lying the most.

The market loves these loathsome tomes. We’ve forced ourselves to read all three miserable volumes of the shonky Ombudsman junkyard dog Lachlan McCulloch’s revelations of his own personal crime-spree and even had a crack at reading his little mate Adam Shand’s yawn-inducing crime books (the flim-flam man was totally found out when he got to the excellent Sunday Herald Sun and found its exacting standards just a little too much like hard work). We much prefer some good number-crunching to a literal knee-capping but there’s obviously a quid in it.

And it seems, by his own admission of “private greed,” that’s all that matters to The Age’s John Silvester.

 

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