Popular South Australian conservative independent Senator Nick Xenophon has told VEXNEWS that he wonâ€™t be running a Xenophon ticket at the next federal election, unless thereâ€™s a double dissolution which most observers regard as highly unlikely. Barring a â€˜double dâ€™ election, the Xenatorâ€™s term does not expire until 2014.
The Senator has exclusively revealed to his favourite news website that he wouldnâ€™t be running a candidate under his own banner or well-established brand in the looming Senate election where he’s not up for election himself.
COULDâ€™VE CASHED IN
Some had speculated to VEXNEWS that he would be inclined to at least run a candidate in order to cash in on public funding which could have potentially raised many tens of thousands of dollars in taxpayer campaign funding, even if his candidate had not succeeded. Last time the popular Xenator pulled 148,000 votes in South Australia, at the current rate of $2.31 a vote could have snaffled the former plaintiff lawyer more than $300,000 for his campaign war-chest.
RUNNING MATES FROM HELL
Then again, the Xenâ€™s experience with running-mates has been less than thrilling with one in the SA upper house Ann Bressington going very badly rogue on him over campaign expenses and competing egos. Bressington made many wild claims about Xenophon, which seemed prompted by a dispute between them about who should pay for their then successful election campaign. She didn’t want to pay, he thought she should, she eventually did but paid him back by making up nasty stories against him and trotting them out under parliamentary privilege. In later exploits, Bressington demanded that every Year 8 to Year 12 student in South Australian secondary schools be subjected to regular drug testing. Many thought she should be subjected to testing herself.
The Xenator also confirmed earlier reported denials that Rohan Wenn, his Melbourne-based spin-doctor and formerly Today Tonight reporter, would be running. A sad end to a once-promising political career.
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY
When VEXNEWS asked whether Xenophon would be running a team comprising family members in the grand tradition of former Tasmanian senator, the great Brian Harradine, this was also ruled out as an option despite the income-doubling opportunities a successful wifely candidacy could afford one, in the style maintained by Fred and Elaine Nile for a time in the NSW upper house. The Tassie Greens party has taken this to a whole new level by having a Cabinet minister Nick McKim and his lover Cassie O’Connor serving simultaneously as Cabinet Secretary.
IF NOT NOW, WENN?
All of this zealous east-cost reporting seems to have struck a chord with the Adelaide-based Team Xen. Team Xenâ€™s spokesperson Evelyn Ek told VEXNEWS:
As Rohan has made clear to you in the past, Rohan will not be running under Nickâ€™s name, or any name for that matter, for the Senate. The rumours that you claim â€˜aboundâ€™ are false, and we suspect only generated by yourself. We have found your fascination with Rohan amusing, albeit somewhat disturbing.
In private correspondence, revealed here for the first time, we responded:
Our fascination with Rohan is merely a reflection of his (Wenn’s) charisma, illustrious past as a journalist and role model, animal magnetism and personalised plates. And while we occasionally report gossip, we can assure you we don’t knowingly start it (we exclude from this denial what goes on in inner-city Melbourne coffee shops, pubs and eateries where lies are a second currency only marginally less useful than a Today Tonight expense account).