XENOPHON NON: SA Senator reveals to VEXNEWS that there'll be no Team Xen at next election

xenator3 Popular South Australian conservative independent Senator Nick Xenophon has told VEXNEWS that he won’t be running a Xenophon ticket at the next federal election, unless there’s a double dissolution which most observers regard as highly unlikely. Barring a ‘double d’ election, the Xenator’s term does not expire until 2014.

The Senator has exclusively revealed to his favourite news website that he wouldn’t be running a candidate under his own banner or well-established brand in the looming Senate election where he’s not up for election himself.

COULD’VE CASHED IN
Some had speculated to VEXNEWS that he would be inclined to at least run a candidate in order to cash in on public funding which could have potentially raised many tens of thousands of dollars in taxpayer campaign funding, even if his candidate had not succeeded. Last time the popular Xenator pulled 148,000 votes in South Australia, at the current rate of $2.31 a vote could have snaffled the former plaintiff lawyer more than $300,000 for his campaign war-chest.

RUNNING MATES FROM HELL
Then again, the Xen’s experience with running-mates has been less than thrilling with one in the SA upper house Ann Bressington going very badly rogue on him over campaign expenses and competing egos. Bressington made many wild claims about Xenophon, which seemed prompted by a dispute between them about who should pay for their then successful election campaign. She didn’t want to pay, he thought she should, she eventually did but paid him back by making up nasty stories against him and trotting them out under parliamentary privilege. In later exploits, Bressington demanded that every Year 8 to Year 12 student in South Australian secondary schools be subjected to regular drug testing. Many thought she should be subjected to testing herself.

The Xenator also confirmed earlier reported denials that Rohan Wenn, his Melbourne-based spin-doctor and formerly Today Tonight reporter, would be running. A sad end to a once-promising political career.

KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY
When VEXNEWS asked whether Xenophon would be running a team comprising family members in the grand tradition of former Tasmanian senator, the great Brian Harradine, this was also ruled out as an option despite the income-doubling opportunities a successful wifely candidacy could afford one, in the style maintained by Fred and Elaine Nile for a time in the NSW upper house. The Tassie Greens party has taken this to a whole new level by having a Cabinet minister Nick McKim and his lover Cassie O’Connor serving simultaneously as Cabinet Secretary.

IF NOT NOW, WENN?
All of this zealous east-cost reporting seems to have struck a chord with the Adelaide-based Team Xen. Team Xen’s spokesperson Evelyn Ek told VEXNEWS:

As Rohan has made clear to you in the past, Rohan will not be running under Nick’s name, or any name for that matter, for the Senate. The rumours that you claim ‘abound’ are false, and we suspect only generated by yourself. We have found your fascination with Rohan amusing, albeit somewhat disturbing.

In private correspondence, revealed here for the first time, we responded:

Our fascination with Rohan is merely a reflection of his (Wenn’s) charisma, illustrious past as a journalist and role model, animal magnetism and personalised plates. And while we occasionally report gossip, we can assure you we don’t knowingly start it (we exclude from this denial what goes on in inner-city Melbourne coffee shops, pubs and eateries where lies are a second currency only marginally less useful than a Today Tonight expense account).

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “XENOPHON NON: SA Senator reveals to VEXNEWS that there'll be no Team Xen at next election

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention VEXNEWS 2010© | XENOPHON NON: SA Senator reveals to VEXNEWS that there’ll be no Team Xen at next election -- Topsy.com

  2. Nick is king

    I wish we had a senator like Nick in Victoria — the guy is a legend!

    Not too many pollies with his principles and committment…the last if a dying breed.

  3. Edmund Egg

    Awww what a shame

  4. anon

    Is that his wife besides him?

  5. Les 20something

    Bugger the lot of you. I think I’ll just hit the bottle and line my pockets again.

    Anybodywannabemyrunningmate?

  6. Whiney

    I wish Nick X batted for my team. He’d then be known as Nick XXX!

  7. Arther conan doyle

    A failed plaintiff lawyer, a failed Legislative Member of SA Parliament (more money lost on Pokies today than 13 years ago) and as a Federal Senator he has achieved ???? Failed again. Still he has three years to go. I will reserve judgement, but track record devoid of success to date.

  8. liar, liar, pants on fire

    Sorry, but nowhere in your story does Xeno “speak to” Vex. The only quote from the Xenophon camp is an email from a spokeswoman who suspects the “abounding” rumours were “generated by yourself.”

  9. dela rivet

    nickaphon delivers nothing. The impotent are always pure that’s why I have turned to sexy texty!

  10. Anonymous

    HAHAHA an ex Today Tonight hack running for Parliament, oh well if Martin Orkopolous can I guess Rowan Wenn can.

  11. Josh

    I’d rather vote for the goat

  12. Mick

    Rohan Wenn was Today Tonight? That makes two… Evelyn Ek was also Today Tonight. No wonder Nick is so tabloid or maybe Nick is just the TT man in the Senate?

  13. Anonymous

    Wot, no ticket!

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