AGE OF DISAPPOINTMENT: Paul Austin sheds a tear over ALP memberships as calm breaks out on renewal day

theage The Age’s Paul Austin is one of those lefties who spends a disproportionate part of his leisure time pondering the failings of the ALP, for which he probably once regularly voted before getting into the Green. No dinner party would be complete without reflections on how much better it could be if the ALP was only a little less pragmatic, sleazy or focused on winning or whatever.

Every year, as if by clockwork, he or comrades would report complaints from the disaffected and disturbed within the Victorian branch of the ALP about renewals on June 1.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS FOR LABOR
Today, the last day of May, in a sort of ideological counter-point to May Day, was renewals day.

By tradition this has been a raucous affair at head office with various party power-lords jostling for positions in a queue with their year’s renewals.

This has never been a good look despite being a reasonably innocent expression of last-minute disorganisation on the part of people for whom politics is a hobby.

The inconvenient truth is that politics often attracts big picture people, dreamers and schemers rather than hyper-organised, disciplined types.

The frantic comrades were often – almost always falsely – painted as stackers embarked on an evil enterprise because they’d show up with a fistful of forms creating an inaccurate impression they were up to no good.

The truth has always been that no-one with anything to fear from scrutiny would actually be caught dead at Head Office with membership forms and money towards the end of May.

The truth has always been that no-one with anything to fear from scrutiny would actually be caught dead at Head Office with membership forms and money towards the end of May.

NEW RULES IMPROVED HACKS’ TIME MANAGEMENT
In order to manage the false perceptions that the left-wing press and their internal allies had created, moderates in the ALP changed the rules requiring that anyone lodging renewals could only lodge ten at a time per day which required branch secretaries to be a lot more organised in chasing up individual signatures and payments, preventing constant party critics from gobbing off to The Age or other left-wing outlets about the carnival atmosphere at Head Office on renewal day.

The move championed by ALP Assistant Secretary Noah Carroll worked well and had all involved including party secretary Nick Reece breathing a sigh of relief that they’d had such an uneventful renewal day in a dual election year. Not even serial whiner Eric Dearricott and his chum John Lannon had a word of complaint to make. In the absence of this cheap form of self-excitement some comrades speculated Comrade Eric might have to hop into the Viagra to keep the blood flowing where it should.

Party insiders tell VEXNEWS that there was next to no drop-off in party membership numbers under the anti branch-stacking rules, suggesting that the incidence of stacking is much lower than The Age and internal party haters have previously reported.

GREENS CHEERLEADER
Renewal day followed an extraordinary refrying effort by the Sunday Age’s low-rent environmental campaigner and sometime state political reporter Melissa Fyfe. A curious effort even for the Greens party booster, she claimed that Costas Socratous claiming control of 12 branch members in a seat comprising 700 members made him a kingmaker of sorts. It was the same mathematical approach that enables multi-millionaire Greens party leader Bob Brown occasionally claim imminent bankruptcy as a fundraising tool.

Socratous – whose mad conspiracy theories have made the state Libs very cautious about him – has made scathing and highly improbable accusations against senior Labor figures from the Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard down. After interviews with the ABCista Jon Faine and reading VEXNEWS articles that made it clear Socratous has admitted to conduct (including theft, false accounting) that could constitute criminal offences, Socratous has refused to co-operate with the ALP’s internal investigation into his admissions and claims. He has also engaged the services of a lawyer, which is probably just as well.

Advertisements

19 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

19 responses to “AGE OF DISAPPOINTMENT: Paul Austin sheds a tear over ALP memberships as calm breaks out on renewal day

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention VEXNEWS 2010© | AGE OF DISAPPOINTMENT: Paul Austin sheds a tear over ALP memberships as calm breaks out on renewal day -- Topsy.com

  2. Anonymous

    Another great article from you Andy!

  3. Anonymous

    Seitz is a dirty rat of the ALP

  4. Anonymous

    George & Marlene spotted in deer park with renewals …says Costas

  5. Anonymous

    George and Costa’s door knocking in west Sunshine, picking up the so called loose greek numbers.

  6. Ben

    And yet, Paul Austin looks like such a kind man.

  7. Anonymous

    “Party insiders tell VEXNEWS that there was next to no drop-off in party membership numbers under the anti branch-stacking rules, suggesting that the incidence of stacking is much lower than The Age and internal party haters have previously reported.”

    No need to stack anymore if the party isn’t accepting new members.

    The fix is in

  8. C U Later

    ALP are so corrupt why is anyone ever ever surprised by anything that Australias loose (morals) party ie ALP does
    Late term abortions are up 600 percent in Victoria since Brumbys so called Abortion Reform Act came in and the voting public was told the rate of abortions would be the same!
    So how many more gross con jobs will we have to endure under this dumby brumby led ALP? and how many more innocent unborns, our future, the next generation will suffer at the hand of aborting doctors
    Victoria has regressed under Brumby yet again
    Pro abortion Mps that voted for this Act ought to have a good hard look at themselves and say sorry to all the voters that were conned!

  9. annon

    I recon C U Later is aka Bernie Finn ?? The loathsome piece of shit that he is.

  10. Err a question

    I join an organisation as an individual. I go along, I get a form, I fill it in, I send it off. In 1 years time a renewal arrives in the post. I make a decision a) I am renewing my membership or b) no, I won’t bother. This is the process for the majority of organisations. Why then does the ALP have a common renewal day? Why do branch secretaries chase up members and lodge renewals in bulk? You have to admit it is very odd.

  11. True believer

    Listening to 1377 this morning to hear Greg Hunt claiming that he and the ETU are going around checking people’s houses for faulty insulation installations. Does that mean Dean Mighell will support the Libs. The ETU are still affiliated with the ALP.

  12. Dean Mighell

    Has anyone got any ‘she-male’ DVDs I can have?

  13. Anonymous

    RE Err a question there isn’t a membership renewal day as such individuals are free to renew their membership at any time of their choosing. The end of May date is just the cut off day for when membership expires from one year to the next. That some groups may use this to organise their activities is convention not written into any rules.

    Funnily enough it is always the other group/individual that is an alleged branch stacker, nobody ever admits that they engage in such activities do they?

    By the way can we get rid of the anti-abortion comments. Not really relevant to any discussion as such.

  14. Suzzana

    True Believer, these people just manage to find each other. Greg Hunt and Dean Mighell have the same unique social interests that manages to bind them in a very close fashion. As they say Politics can produce very strange BED fellows

  15. Argus Tuft

    The Head office rorts under the previous State Secretary, regarding membership will all be exposed when the S..T hits the fan

  16. Anonymous

    doris cunninghaam….brimbank’s Boris.

  17. Ivanhoe MP

    Jake, will you join up 4 me?

  18. Anonymous

    Who didn’t renew in Ivanhoe?

  19. Ahmed Bin Chated

    Anyone attending branch meetings in Wills, especially Coburg know that the stack is on. But why???
    Larocca is a joke and will not be supported for the seat of Wills by his latest factional alliance the Feeney group, yet he still will not address the blatant stacking by the Feeney group, and the El Helabi group.
    Why did Feeney open an office in the heart of Wills, maybe the fear of No. 3 on the Senate ticket is enough incentive to want to run for the lower house seat of Wills.
    What is happening in the Campbell branch, are they aligning with Feeney or are they trying to get up the numbers for the young Miss Blandthorn to run in Wills.
    Can Kelvin hold back the numbers stacking up against him.
    And where do the terrible twins Enver and Lambros stand in all of this.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s