BACKFIRE: David Davis's stunt blows up in his face

kaiserted Joining in on The Age’s micro-jihad against the Labor machine over residual whining over the Kororoit by-election probably seemed like a no-brainer for Liberal upper house leader David “D-squared” Davis.

In that campaign Labor had said “a vote for Les Twentyman (an independent candidate) is a vote for the Liberals.” The candidate complained this was a breach of electoral law. The Victorian Electoral Commission said it wasn’t going to take any action but they did think the statement ‘misleading.’

Davis thought he’d help Ted Baillieu’s favourite scribe out by giving Paul Austin a couple of lines about how he’d propose an inquiry into claims that Labor had conned voters in Kororoit where its candidate patriot Marlene Kairouz received 15000 votes to her nearest rival’s 6000. It wasn’t even close after her rival – Les Twentyman – received the benefit of thousands of Liberal preferences.

But this morning it appears to have massively backfired with country Independent Craig Ingram now saying he had been called a Labor stooge by Nats and Liberals in his Gippsland seat for years and years.

He wants an inquiry into that too.

Of course he does. If we had a parliamentary inquiry into hurt feelings, there’d certainly be plenty of them.

And so do the Queensland Liberals who for years were the victim of an ALP slogan ‘a vote for the Liberals is a vote for the Nationals.’ They eventually merged, it got so irritating.

Is that kind of line, like John Howard’s claim that a vote for Labor is a vote for higher interest rates, misleading?

Of course it’s not.

Are they literally true? No. They’re puffery, designed to make a point about the attributes of an opponent.

In the case of Kororoit, there was no claim the independent left candidate was a Liberal, it was merely a demonstrably true claim that a vote for him would have given the Liberals a real sense of victory, as they had given him preferences and were certainly hoping he would win.

In Brisbane campaigns, it was certainly effective to link the Libs and the Nats as the Nats were once and still very much on the nose in parts of Brisbane. Was it literally true though? No, it was hyperbole but Queensland Labor would say it was a way of pointing to their coalition. A rhetorical device, not a deception.

In John Howard’s case, a vote for Labor was of course no vote for higher interest rates. He was merely trying to remind voters of the very high interest rates that prevailed under the Keating government.

The Victorian Electoral Commission isn’t taken very seriously. Its pronouncement on this issue is regarded by most serious campaigners and lawyers as a joke that has only further undermined their standing.

If there was a serious case to make of voters being misled it would have been made by the well-funded Kororoit candidate in the courts. Indeed he said he was going to do so. He never did.

And that single fact speaks a lot louder than David Davis’s latest clumsy own goal.

With friends like that, current state Liberal leader Ted Baillieu has every reason to think he doesn’t need enemies.

And he’s got plenty of those.

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79 Comments

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79 responses to “BACKFIRE: David Davis's stunt blows up in his face

  1. dirty davis

    mr davis needs to watch that little sausage of his as well, he needs a little safety pouch!

  2. observant

    Is it true that Fifi and DD have a certain kind of love?

  3. going to the mattresses

    So do Ronno and Helen K.

    What is it with alpha males? They can’t help themselves…

  4. LOL

    Excellent photoshopping, unless old grump Ted was really there (quite possible). The Baillieu’s are of French origin?

  5. Choo choo

    The GTM Express is on its way.

  6. anon

    Davis was engaged to Lou Lou Staley (on relation to Tones).

  7. The Conductor

    I remember the old song
    Get on board little children, get on boad little children, get on board little children, there’s room for many, a more

    praise the lord free at last

    Tickets please

  8. Noel Jackson

    What photoshopping, LOL?

    That’s a real photo taken at the recent Liberal fundraiser at Parl House as the beer and champers started kicking in ….

  9. Dr Dre

    anon 11.55, I presume you mean “no relation to Tones”.

  10. dirty davis

    Dear Noel, do you mean that fine dining night, toasting the queen that was put on by the platinum club? That was super I got to meat that big ladies model, heidi. She’s got a lady di haircut now, not as raunchie as her photos in the hun!

  11. Anonymous

    Is it true that Fifi and DD have a certain kind of love?

    you mean fifi as in Wendy
    L0vell

  12. dirty davis

    he was wearing tight pants yesterday old dd. maybe waiting for an offer to treat! Maybe FIFI and Indi know more about dd’s meat than most!

  13. on board

    Is it true that Julian M was engaged to a journo working for the SMH sometime back in the early 1990s?

  14. Historian

    which older federal coalition senator was dating the very young daughter of another MP in 2006?

  15. Wendy Lovellot

    He cries after sex – bad back pain.

    Noice!!!

  16. Noel Jackson

    C’mon Historian – spit it out

  17. Station master

    All aboard. The GTM Express is departing shortly. Choo choo!

  18. Goose

    And it was said, when the heavens open,
    the Lord will make his address
    For when it rains, like it is today
    it means its time for the GTM Express

  19. Connex

    Stopping all stations. First stop – Bayswater.

  20. Connex

    Public announcement. The GTM Express will not be stopping at Hawthorn today. It will be running express through to Kew.

  21. Inga Binga

    Davy my Flaps are always ‘open’ if you have the urge to make a deposit!

  22. Anonymous

    Wonder if David Davis has any skeletons in his closet. The latest news to come out of Queensland, where they play politics tougher even than the Victorian ALP, concerns an ex-boyfriend of a certain former MP standing for election in the seat of Beaudesert, a lovely lady named Pauline. Her ex boyfriend has sold some raunchy pictures of her. Naughty.
    This is his story, as told to Vexnews. It’s our greatest scoop of this election. Read on:

    Raunchy photographs of a teenage Pauline Hanson have been sold to the media by an old boyfriend.

    The photographs were taken in the mid-1970s, showing Ms Hanson partially nude and dressed in lingerie.

    The former One Nation leader, who is hoping to stage a political comeback in the Queensland election, would have been about 19 when the shots were taken during a drunken interlude on a resort holiday, News Limited reports.

    Ms Hanson met army commando Jack Johnson in a Brisbane grocery shop and the pair dated until he was posted overseas.

    Ms Hanson was drunk on passion pop and Mr Johnson on imported beer when the impromptu photo session took place, News Ltd says.

    Mr Johnson, now living in Sydney and struggling to repay debts after treatment for bone cancer, said he tried to give the photographs back to Ms Hanson at an event but was stopped by one of her staff members.

    He said he was digitising old photos recently with a friend, who recognised Ms Hanson and suggested they would be worth money.

    “Sorry it’s come to this sweetheart … that’s the way it is,” he told News Ltd.

    A spokesman for Ms Hanson said they did not “care about photos”.

  23. Fatty Doyle

    Victor do you have Pauline’s mobile no?
    Little Fatty is keen to make an ‘appointment’ with her.

  24. Wendy Lovellot

    I have many stroies to tell about D squared… Leanne is completely unaware of our leadership working relationship!

  25. D-Squared

    If only I could get some love from Sgt Rat, RDR.

  26. Choo choo

    All aboard. Next stop Vermont, running express through East Yarra.

  27. Ollie

    My red raw ring is willingly exposed and gaping open in your direction.

  28. Anonski

    RDR has turned traitor to the Jeffista Faction. He is now a Krogerite numbersman for the GTM Express.
    Red Ted’s days as Leader are numbered.

  29. Wendy Lovellet

    All this talk is rubbish. The member for Kew and head of Eastern Metro are both loyal Red Tedistas.

  30. Inga

    Where oh where has my delicious sandwich gone?

  31. Goose

    Where, oh where, can my sandwich be? the lord took it away from
    Me. Its gone to heaven, so Ive got to be good. so I can see my sandwich when I leave this world.

    We were out on a date in my daddys car. we hadnt driven very far. There in the road, straight ahead. a car was stalled, the engine was dead.

    I couldnt stop, so I swerved to the right. Ill never forget the sound that night. The screamin tires, the bustin glass. The painful scream that I heard Last.

    Oh where, oh where, can my sandwich be? the lord took it away from me. Its gone to heaven, so Ive got to be good. so I can see my sandwich when I leave this world.

    When I woke up the rain was pourin down. there were people standin all around.
    Something warm flowing through my eyes. but somehow I found my sandwich that night.
    I lifted the bread, it looked at me and said. hold me darling, just a little while. I held it close, I kissed it our last kiss. I found the love that I knew I had missed.

    Well now iys gone. even though I hold it tight. I lost my love, my life,
    That night.

    Oh where, oh where, can my sandwich be? the lord took it away from me. its gone
    To heaven, so Ive got to be good. so I can see my sandwich when I leave this world.

  32. G von Head

    I, G. Head, hamburglar extraordinaire, do by order of the ALP Rules Revision Committee rule 54(c)(1)(xxvi) claim your sandwhich in the name of King George III.

    I would also like to acknowledge the deliciousness of the sandwhich in question at this point. And ask for both more sandwhich, and more wholegrain mustard.

    Which isn’t for the sandwhich.

  33. Inga

    Are you saying that my sandwich is in heaven or has been involved in a road trauma? Because either way it isnt in my stomach.

  34. Girth

    I respectfully submit that the delicious sandwhich in question did indeed ‘get in my belly’.

    More sandwhich and more mustard please.

    Not that the mustard is for the sandwhich. Need a bit of Hot English right now.

  35. Inga

    My lace underpants taste like mustard. If you don’t believe me you can read the court report. It is listed under crimes with tasty and hilarious consequences.

  36. Girth

    I would like green eggs and ham.

    I would like them, for girth I am.

  37. Inga

    If any young gentlemen are willing to clean out my parliamentary fish tank for snack related emergencies I would be happy to pick pens up off the ground in payment…

  38. Girth

    Dear Inga, Dearest of Ingas; if this is so, do you provided seeded mustard? What of lightly crumbed crimes?

  39. Inga

    My dear Girth, I only provide the tastiest organic mustard available. Never mind lightly crumbed crimes. What about crimes against the rotisserie?

  40. Inga

    Girth are you hiding baked goods from me?

  41. Girth

    Yes, but dearest Inga, do you have precious seed?

  42. Girth

    I am often asked ‘is that a dozen croissants in your pocket, or are you happy to see me’.

    Why can’t it just be both?

  43. Inga

    My dear athletic and shy Girth, it is not polite to ask a lady of my refinement such personal questions while she is flushed with the excitement of a recently ill gotten snickers.

  44. Girth

    Ilicit confectionery?

    Is this akin to that most delightful of baked goods, ‘floor pie’?

  45. anon

    Vexnews sponsors sexism – yet again.

  46. Rivers

    As the ticket inspector on the GTM Express, I am concerned that you only have one ticket Inga. I think you might need two.

  47. RDR

    Shove over Rivers, you know the porter has a more important role.

  48. Rivers

    I can’t believe someone made Sgt Rat the Porter around here. Well, whatever, go get Inga a beverage then.

  49. RDR

    You should be more grateful, Rivers.

    By turning rat I am making it possible for Krogerite forces to defeat your nemesis, Red Ted, and to remove D-squared from the position of Leader in the Upper House, with you to be his replacement.

  50. Rivers

    RDR, you may be a Krogerite now, but you are still a rat, like Manny, Xanadau and McKeegan – and rats are never to be trusted.

  51. Wendy Lovellot

    If they get rid of David, can I still be Deputy Leader even though I have no merit, talent or voice – and am probably not currently having an affair with whoever the new Upper House Leader will be?

  52. RDR

    Sorry Wendy, my services as “rat” came at a price – and that price is that I will be the Deputy Leader once Red Ted has been disposed of.

  53. Wendy Lovellot

    Look – can we reach an accomodation? You can cry afterwards if you like.

  54. Historian

    which older federal coalition senator was dating the very young daughter of another MP in 2006?

    A clue: he was either from NSW or Vic…go on your info expedition now folks…shouldn’t be too hard.

    Oh and he hardly spent any time in his home state during all of that time…not very constituent centred that…ooops.

  55. Wendy Lovellot

    Well if you know Historian, why don’t you just tell us?

    Bet she didn’t get the Deputy Leadership for all of her accomodating efforts!

  56. Inga

    Can anyone spare a leg of lamb?

  57. Girth

    I could really go some rack, Dear Inga, Dearest of Ingas.

  58. Inga

    I do enjoy a modest spot of roast pheasant during sitting weeks. I have to watch my slender figure so I like the odd game bird.

  59. Girth

    Dear Inga, Dearest of Ingas, be not modest in your feasting on fine game.

    I too enjoy a fine spit roast. If it involves birds, all the better.

    Oh and better to make it even instead of odd. Let’s aim for, say, 40.

  60. Inga

    My dear sprightly young Girth, perhaps we will enjoy a feast of winged delicacies during the next sitting week. I am having an aviary installed next to the live fish tank in my office so we can enjoy the freshest cuisine taxpayer dollars can buy.

  61. Girth

    Lady Inga, as ever more ample and inviting than Maid Marian; I have been told that quail is a sometimes food.

    I find such talk defeatist.

    I would like to commend you for your gastronomical menagarie. Speaking of menage, how about a trois? You, me, and a knuckle or twelve or pork.

    And why is it just a knuckle of pork? Why not the whole hand?

  62. Inga

    Quail IS a sometimes food. As in sometimes I store them alive in my ample moo moo for later. It does raise the odd eye brow in question time when there is a distinct and slightly frantic chirping originating from my slender mid section. Occasionally the more brave of the quail will escape and run across the red carpet of the Council Chamber to the comparative safety of the Greens…

  63. Excess Luggage [deleted]

    I will soon lift a burden as heavy as any member of the Parlyemant.

  64. Inga

    Sounds like a challenge. You will need a young priest and an old priest, a forklift and lots of vaseline.

  65. Girth

    Dearest Inga, your commitment to a degustation approach to life is wonderful. It does Epicurus proud.

    Pray tell me dear Inga, what are your views on tenderloin?

    Pork, pork, pork. That is all.

  66. Inga Ranga

    Your gut?

  67. Inga

    Tenterloin is a delicious mid question time snack when served with a side of golden fried thick cut chips and a tasty wild berry chutney. I subtlety consume said small treat in the house on special occasions like when I am celebrating having caught the very naughty David Davis trying to cop an eyeful of my lace g-string.

  68. Anonski

    I Can’t imagine RDR as a rat.

    Why would he join forces with the Krogerites given that they tried to ruin him when Rivers leaked the Byrne Baby Burn incident to the media?

    It was Ted that allowed RDR to be rehabilitated after that incident was reported in the media.

    This doesn’t sound right to me. Assume RDR is a Jeffista until there is definitive proof to the contrary.

  69. Anonymouse

    Rivers had nothing to do with it. The leak was the work of the current advisor for the leader of the Opposition. And I dont mean Red Ted

  70. Rivers

    You bet it was me.

    I can’t stand RDR.

  71. RDR

    Don’t you worry, Rivers. I know that you were the leak. You dirty dog.

  72. Chrissy Pyne

    If it relates to the Liberal Party and Federal politics then I am the leak.

  73. Wendy Lovellot

    I am constantly leaking. Just ask D squared.

  74. Inga

    Sometimes I leak my delicious recipes to The Age Epicure section…

  75. Inga Binga

    Do you boys want a glipse up my skirt to see my shaven haven?

  76. anon

    Vex News sponsors sexism.

  77. Inga

    I’m a laadeeee

  78. Sir Ruperts Ghost

    In my experience, lovely progressive girls like Fifi, from good families, never touch pond scum like Fatty – even with disinfected barge poles.

    Believe me, I have spoken to her father about this, (he is well) and she is always armed with a bottle of Domestos for such people as Doyle!

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