LABOR UNITY: Factional divides put aside as disturbing fitness crusade hits Labor caucus

conroysomyurek In Geelong this weekend, senior Labor figures from across the factions and fractions convened to field a team for a soccer tournament in the Master’s Games.

Aptly they were called the MP’s All-Stars.

Upper house MP Adem Somyurek and federal Communications Minister Senator Conroy in particular formed a strong bond on the field despite much discussed differences in the political arena between their respective sub-factions.

Somyurek – an SDA aligned warlord who led the way in the south-east in the destruction of Leftist forces – is a highly skilled player on and off the field. Equally skilled and despite filling Senator Robert Ray’s shoes is a frighteningly fit chap who far too sensibly declines to drink, Senator Conroy.

So they dominated the play and found occasion following the game to have a laugh over the past few months of internal Labor Right feuding.

THERE’S ONLY ONE PLUGGER LOCKETT
The team was organised by John Eren who is an intimidatingly skilled striker. Those familiar with the career of AFL thug Plugger Lockett would understand the full dimension of Eren’s attacking power.

Others who took the field included Corio MP Richard Marles, a very fit Roads Minister Tim Pallas, lefty Carlo Carli, star photographer Telmo Languiller, Sports Minister James Merlino, Gavin Jennings and the Industry minister Martin Pakula.

RICHARD’S RAGS TO RICHES STORY
The rags to riches story of R. Marles attracted particular attention.

In order to advance his claim to be goalie, Marles had boasted frequently of his exploits at a local school in Geelong where he recalled that he was a highly skilled goal-keeper.

As such he made successful claim to the jumper emblazoned ‘1’ and established himself as goalie wearing black.

Sadly, Marles proved to be not quite the goalie that he had promised to be, incurring the wrath of team promoter and factional ally John Eren.

Fifteen to twenty goals were scored off Marles in the first round of hostilities, before state MP Carlo Carli feigned injury so that he could make a case to replace Marles as goalie. A wily move. Carli was a stronger presence for the MP All-Stars and improved the flow of goals scored against them from one a minute to about one every ten minutes.

THE COMEBACK KID
Richard Marles Marles was not impressed with his atypical fall from grace. A Rocky Balboa/Bullwinkle style look of determination was adopted as he returned to the field for the next game.

He didn’t do a lot better.

That is until Channel 31 established themselves filming the game.

Under the spotlight of possible television broadcast, Marles became a man possessed. Out of nowhere, showing skill that would have left Ronaldhino gob-smacked, he stole the ball, turned on pace not seen in years, dribbled past a couple of players with the ball and shot for goal from metres out scoring in a manner unprecedented in the modern history of the game.

“GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!” he was heard to say.

It was a magnificent display that left all around him stunned. And yes it was all filmed. And just like that other tape formerly in the possession of Jake ‘the Snake’ Della-Vedova, we’re sure we’ll find it some day.

The All-Stars didn’t kick a lot of other goals. Although master-blaster Senator Conroy got two, John Eren one in an uncharacteristically quiet, remarkably restrained effort and of course Marles’s goal – which will live in sporting history.

A fine day out for patriots that culminated in a greeting of affection or kiss of death – depending on your point of view between footballing friends Conroy and Somyurek.

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22 Comments

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22 responses to “LABOR UNITY: Factional divides put aside as disturbing fitness crusade hits Labor caucus

  1. Anonymous

    Perhaps Somyurek or Conroy is the married MP in your blackmail story given the man loving in this photo???

  2. VEXNEWS

    Perhaps not.

  3. Anonymous

    didnt mafia figures used to kiss their enemy’s before “offing” them

  4. kiss you can't refuse

    According to the Synoptic Gospels, Judas identified Jesus to the soldiers by means of a kiss. This is the kiss of Judas, also known as the Betrayal of Christ, which occurs in the Garden of Gethsemane after the Last Supper, and leads directly to the arrest of Jesus by the police force of the Sanhedrin. In Christian theology, the events from the Last Supper until the death and resurrection of Jesus are referred to as The Passion.

  5. judas kiss

    When the world has turned its back
    When the days have turned pitch black
    When the fear abducts your tongue
    When the fire’s dead and gone

    So what now?
    Where do I head?

    When you think it’s all said and done
    When you are the ostracized
    Selfish written, dead goodbyes
    Twisting of the tourniquet
    When the pieces never fit

    So what now?
    Where do I head?

    When you think it’s all said and done

    Bow down
    Sell your soul to me
    I will set you free
    Pacify your demons

    Bow down
    Surrender unto me
    Submit infectiously
    Sanctify your demons

    Into abyss
    You don’t exist
    Cannot resist
    The Judas kiss

    When the storm has blacked your sky
    Intuition crucify
    When the ego strips your reign
    Assasinate the living flame

    So what now?
    Where do I head?

    When you think it’s all said and done
    Venom of a life insane
    Bites into your fragile veins
    Internalize and decimate
    Pitting it as complicate

    So what now?
    Where do I head?

    When you think it’s all said and done

    Bow down
    Sell your soul to me
    I will set you free
    Pacify your demons

    Bow down
    Surrender unto me
    Submit infectiously
    Sanctify your demons

    Into abyss
    You don’t exist
    Cannot resist
    The Judas kiss

    Judas lives recite this vow
    I’ve become your new god now

    Follow you from dawn of time
    Whisper thoughts into your mind
    Watched your towers hit the ground
    Lured the children never found
    Helped your kings abuse their crown

    In the heart of evil man
    Plant the seeds of my own plan
    Strong and powerful will fall
    Find a piece of me in all
    Inside you all

    So bow down
    Sell your soul to me
    I will set you free
    Pacify your demons

    Bow down
    Surrender unto me
    Submit infectiously
    Sanctify your demons

    Into abyss
    You don’t exist
    Cannot resist
    The Judas kiss

  6. Anonymous

    Gavin Jennings is the Minister for the EPA Stasi.

    Let’s hope his team and all his fellow Stasi Leftistas lose.

  7. Preselection Time

    Adem Somyurek has barely enough brains to keep his apart, truly a very poor MP.

  8. patriot

    adem somyurek is a great mp as is senator conroy

  9. anon

    why wasnt george seitz playing

  10. Anonymous

    I disagree with preselection time. We need more MPs like adem Somyurek and Sen Conroy – here are two MPs who wear their heart on their sleeve. Whilst they may be seen by some as being overly aggressive at times. These two are, nevertheless, courageous enough to tell it how it is.
    They provide a refreshing contrast to the sycaphants and arse lickers that populate the corridors of spring st and canberra.

  11. Alan Griffin

    These right wing boys are weird you would never catch me kissing comrad Carr and i am no longer married.

  12. Andrew Giles

    dont call them weird Al i wouldnt mind kissing Robin Scott even though i am married.

  13. squeaky

    Will the Conroy/Somyurek man-love photo be blocked from the internet under Conroy’s net censorship regime?

  14. Anonymous

    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2009, 1:00…. You are so right, Adem has the courage to speak the truth and everyone knows where he stands. I would rather deal with the likes of Somyurek, in that you know where he is coming from and doesn’t hide behinds others, rather than dealing with the cowardly type of MP’s that roam the halls and hide behind parliamentary privilege and than are nice as pie in the street. Inga Binga is a classically cowardly MP who sucks up the arse’s of the church groups pretending to be a Christian, but than behind the scenes, does some of the most in-ethical things that even Attila the Hun would be embarrassed by. Not to mention how fucking lazy and self righteous this megalomaniacal poor excuse for a lady is. I agree, bring on pre-selection when this party will speak and this impostor praying on the vulnerable for a headline, will be gone…..

  15. dinga pinga

    when the fuck are we going to forget the rights problems and focus on the fuckin lunacy of the rail tram and bus union. Fine the fuckers until they bleed. Playing fuckin tootsies with the public patience is madness. Fine them Kosky!

  16. Inside Labor

    Hear Hear dinga pinga…. the RTBU is a fucking disgraceful union and has casued this state and the ALP more trouble than they are worth.
    THis is one union the state can do without. Fine them and fine them hard Kosky, if you don’t you will personally be holding a gun to the the ALP leading up to the next election.

  17. here is disgraceful:

    a HSU union official having three staff sacked for no good reason and then briefing her barrister to argue that the union has less than one hundred staff and therefore the AIRC cannot hear the case. Thankfully the AIRC saw sense and tossed Pauline Fegan and her barrister out on their backsides.The staff members are back at work after the commission ruiled the sackings to be unfair, harsh and unreasonable.

  18. Anonymous

    Fegan is a DISGRACE

  19. Anonymous

    i am sick of the hsua issue no one cares

  20. HailToTheKing

    I for one welcome our new Overlord Conroy and his desire to protect us all from the internets.

  21. Anonymous

    My name is Banyule Councillor Jenny Mulholland and I’m really happy about the Jake the Snake article and what it means for politics in my area.

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