TOO MUCH LIKE WORK: Hilakari can't hack real world

mathilakari2 The former Monash student president who left under a cloud of corruption suspicion Socialiste Leftista Mat Hilakari has resigned from his graduate position at the Department of Justice just 5 weeks in to become an electorate officer to Gavin Jennings. It is believed that the position was secured for him by the manipulations of his brother Luke, an official at the academic-run Victorian branch of the LHMU.

“The whole nine-to-five thing at DOJ wasn’t really working for slack Mat,” one observer familiar with his exploits told VEXNEWS.

“His main role at Jennings’s electorate office will be dusting the cobwebs away. And he plans on delegating that too. He has a very leisurely approach to life. He was talking about possibly setting up a hammock in the office to ensure he caught up with sleep.”




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19 responses to “TOO MUCH LIKE WORK: Hilakari can't hack real world

  1. Stef

    He wanted to live and work with me? The outback seems the only safe place to be.

  2. The Department of Justice

    Isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?

  3. Mat

    I owe it all to my obvious popularity in the party.

  4. Ranga

    I heartily endorse this story or event.

  5. Zoe Edwards

    Why won’t anyone hire me?

  6. Unite T-Shirt

    Get me off him!

  7. Tooth fairy

    I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot dental floss pole.

  8. To DOJ

    It’s like twenty thousand dollars in hush up payments, when all you need is some dental floss.

  9. Tell the truth

    Did he resign or was he pushed when they found out about his $26,000 fraud?

  10. To Tell the truth

    Hang on…don’t you know confidentiality agreements like, um, apply to like, um, the whole world?

  11. Julian Campbell

    But Mat told me he didn’t do anything wrong!

  12. Mat

    What can I say, sleeping with my superiors for career advancement is tried and tested!

  13. Ephiny "Non Gender Specific" Gale

    It did not work for me.

  14. Julian Campbell

    speak for yourself!

  15. Anonymous

    Shows what a dishonest prick Jennings is when he employs that turd.

  16. Anon

    Astonishing that anyone can find 9-5 hours and team building exercises, real lunch breaks and being paid to not do a lot so opressive when compared to work for Jennings.

  17. Gen Xer

    Is this the future?
    God help us.

  18. Yuliya Mik

    He he he he he

  19. MH

    I’ve got halitosis…in different area codes.

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