BACK TO SCHOOL: Club Well Fed returns hot and sweaty

togaparty1The air conditioning broke today in the Senate and press gallery part of Australian Parliament House in Canberra. It followed malfunctioning in yesterday’s House of Reps accommodations.

It has led to a grumpier mood than normal on behalf of some Senators, particularly those fleeing from Melbourne’s heatwave hoping to get away from our current Dubai style temperatures.

Not all are doing it so tough, despite the $115 billion budget blackhole caused by the global financial crisis and the nation living like Beverly Hillbillies during the mining boom we’re about not to have, Club Fed’s staff dining room has experienced most splendid renovations including a “completely new servery layout”.

The staff caf at Parliament represents possibly the best value dining in all of Canberra, excluding nabbing a Comcar for a KFC run, with $8 buying enough to fill even two of the late Senator Mal Colston’s eight stomachs. The buffet style arrangement has been enough to turn young, hungry political staffers into budding Robert Rays in terms of physique within a couple of years. Its magnificent “Parly burger” is the stuff of legend and was said to have prompted tears when a defeated MP from the West realised he would no longer have easy access to said burger without using his Gold Pass and enduring a four hour flight.

Parliament House chieftains have promised “further upgrades to the Staff Dining Room” which will be implemented over the year, including expensive new seating and table arrangements, refurbishment of some existing furniture and of the florist shop much favoured by lonely MP’s hoping to win over some Canberra totty on a cold winter’s night.

Appropriately enough, the bureaucrat left as a contact person is “Tahlecia Love”. Aint it grand? About four hundred grand in expense, one insider suggested.

Good to see the recession not cutting too deep.



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9 responses to “BACK TO SCHOOL: Club Well Fed returns hot and sweaty

  1. gold

    Love it when you talk dirty.

  2. yum

    I miss the lasagna

  3. Bruce Timm

    I feel less intelligent after read that.

  4. Vince

    ohhhh – sensational post, I love it! Certainly brings back memories.
    The breakfast menu was certainly good value, and popular too.

    However, I’d submit that there remain a number of MPs and Senators in the Parliament who survived the Great Purge of October 2007, who would take issue with your comment that the staff caf is the “best value dining in all of Canberra” (although several would have been regular partakers in Ye Olde Cafe, prior to this recent makeover, and may well remain good customers).

    No, no, no: for sheer value-for-money (and of course one has to take into account both proximity to Parly House, and to personal digs – but MAINLY price!) it has GOT to be Lee’s Inn. In fact, so many MPs and Senators could be found there some nights, you could have just about had quorums for party meetings!

  5. Garth Head

    well it seem like the only thing missing in Canberra is me

  6. anon

    Christ imagine Garth ripping out a vindaloo fart in the chamber?

  7. GH

    I can detect a carvery at 1200 paces, at night, in fog, and upwind.

    Just need to mantain LOS- line of succulence.

  8. GH

    Nathan Lambert is to women as GH is to buffet.

    Mmm…unexplained buffet.

  9. anon

    That means GH has his ‘member’ in the buffet.

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