NASTY: Laura Smyth's self-promotion catches up with her

laurasmyth4 Socialist Left lawyer Laura Smyth has annointed herself to be front-runner for Evan Thornley’s upper house vacancy in today’s Herald Sun.

This has triggered howls of laughter from patriots familiar with the eccentric woman’s path to power within the Andrew Giles/Alan Griffin sub-faction of the Socialist Left.

MILITANTLY SINGLE
A source who has worked with her in the past condemned her today as a neurotic ultra-left loon who had trouble forming personal relationships.

“She hasn’t had a boyfriend that any of us know about and doesn’t bat for the other side either. She’s weird,” the source explained about the possibly asexual Labor lawyer who is militantly single.

At work, she’s apparently not much fun either, terrorising underlings and struggling to form productive relationships with others including clients.

CHEQUERED CV
Described by one observer familiar with her legal career as a “legal Bedouin”, she has worked in a large number of law firms including her current gig at Holding Redlich, previously at Deacons, where she left on bad terms and at least two other employers. At some other point, while between legal gigs, the wandering minstrel worked in Alan Griffin’s office, holding her nose while among the branch-stackers and the Lee Tarlamis.

Other views about the self-promoting Smyth say that she is academically smart but struggles to relate to people without forming quick and nasty judgements.

In her defence, friends say she is an enthusiastic consumer of duck, with a particular fondness for supping on Peking Duck at client expense. Yum.

laurasmythHARD-LINE HARD-FACE
While in the “soft” part of the Socialist Left, Smyth is regarded by factional brethren as strident, harsh, unforgiving, hard-faced, witch-like and hardline. Local party members say she finds fault with even the kindest and gentlest of Labor Unity folk including local moderate activists Steve Perryman, Race Mathews and Burwood MLA Bob Stensholt. For all her self-righteousness about the Right, she doesn’t attend branch meetings or any other party functions despite being elected to State Conference as #1 on the SL ticket.

“The only thing she cares about is representing herself and clearly intends to use the southern metropolitan position to get another, better seat from her factional overlords” one critic explained this morning.

JOAN FERGUSON FONDLY REMEMBERED
Senior Spring Street sources condemned Smyth’s self-promotion and told VEXNEWS they thought it highly unlikely she would get the nod:

“If the law and politics doesn’t work out, Smyth clearly has got what it takes to run a women’s prison, perhaps Bob Cameron could organise something for her.”

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23 Comments

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23 responses to “NASTY: Laura Smyth's self-promotion catches up with her

  1. Find it hard to believe the “Labor insiders” quoted in the Hun today know what they’re talking about. Laura is a joke inside the party – the poor deluded woman believes a couple of years in the cushy Southern Metro gig will set her up to replace Griffo in the big house when he hangs up his boots.
    in her dreams…

  2. Anonymous

    Thornley’s seat will be filled by a right choice as Thornley was considered a right choice prior to the 2006 election.

  3. Anonymous

    Perhaps she has the medical condition Alexithymia?? If she does then her behaviour is not really her fault, it is a medical abnormality.

    Alexithymia is defined as:

    “Typical deficiencies may include problems identifying, describing, and working with one’s own feelings, often marked by a lack of understanding of the feelings of others; difficulty distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal; confusion of physical sensations often associated with emotions; few dreams or fantasies due to restricted imagination; and concrete, realistic, logical thinking, often to the exclusion of emotional responses to problems.”

  4. Fatty Doyle

    For the sake of my brothers and sister in the SL I will do my best to cure this girl’s alleged asexulaity.

  5. Marlene KaNOSE

    she can come shopping with me that might help

  6. anon

    She has ‘hot’ legs though!

  7. Anonymous

    Alexithymia. Symptoms include stolen union money wired into personal bank accounts.

  8. Fatty Doyle

    Victor this is a breach of the poor lasses human rights, the poor girl is ovviously frustrated and unsatisfied.
    I and ‘Little Fatty. could help her out.

  9. McPerton

    I agree, Lord Fatty. This girl’s human rights are being violated so long as she remains single. You must remedy this situation ASAP.

  10. Anonymous

    The upper house is a disgrace. How did Brian Tee ever get the nod? He never attends branch meetings either.

  11. Get a life

    Seems like Vex News needs to get it’s head out of the gutter- another story about a Labor woman that finds it essential to talk about her as a sexual object rather than a human being. Who gives a rats whether Laura currently has a boyfriend. Why should it matter.

  12. Of course it matters whether she can form personal relationships – and her relationships with co-workers and employers and lack of relationships with any significant other speak to that. How is she supposed to represent the people if she can’t relate to the people?

    Noting that isn’t “talking about her as a sexual object”, it’s essential to her qualifications for office.

    Fatty Doyle and McPerton have, however, been “talking about her as a sexual object”. I think if you look at the post and the comments with a more discerning critical eye, instead of just assuming that Vexnews is doing the wrong thing, you may be able to see the pertinent difference.

    Then again, maybe not.

  13. Not aligned and not a hack

    Good to see the usual fucktards resort to misogyny and petty personal drivel when they can’t argue something on its merits. I’m guessing Smyth’s appearance on Vex means she really is the front runner?? Sour grapes anyone??

    And while not exactly charismatic she’s always come across as intelligent and savvy – more than I can say for the time serving factional journeyman hacks and no-hopers that usually get these gigs.

  14. Anonymous

    Another lefty apologist above.

  15. Foxy Ross

    If the ALP will preselect a 32 year old then there is a chance that the Liberal Party will preselect me for the Senate.

  16. anon

    Foxy Ross unlikely, with your ‘pastimes’ now becoming public.

  17. Charles

    Ross Fox is a failed candidate – his supporters seem to be promoting him as a star candidate.

    He is a costello man, not particularly well known other than for his time at the IPA. Failed to make any impact in Isaacs last election.

  18. RDR

    If you ever need a lift home Laura just txt me, I am more than happy to oblige.

  19. Rivers

    You do that RDR and I’ll ring up my friends at The Age and the Herald Sun, like I did last time.

  20. RDR

    Old Man Rivers your just jealous cause you can no longer get it up.

  21. matchmaker

    Just because the love lives of those in the Right are so public doesn’t mean SL need to air their dirty laundry too.

    Since when is being single, a crime?

  22. Labor Party member

    Don’t you people have anything better to do than engage in character assassination? Maybe Andrew’s political ambitions have been thwarted: but there are other ways of making a difference without sinking to this level.

  23. anon

    Get you hand off it ‘Labor Party member’ as your a tosser.

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