The hard-living attention-seeking booze-hound is going under the knife, with taxpayers footing the bill for lap-band surgery that leave him with the appetite of Paris Hilton.
The property millionaire who lives in luxurious circumstances in the classy Edgewater estate that will have its own marina and patisserie when completed attacked Hilton for buying clothes when on a recent visit to Melbourne.
Twentyman became notorious in political circles during his disastrous run in the Kororoit by-election when he was shamed after the contents of his own ego-maniacal memoirs were exposed by VEXNEWS’s predecessor The Other Cheek.
So upset was Twentyman at his humiliating loss that he attempted to obtain court orders and Police action to silence critics. VEXNEWS understands that Twentyman corruptly misused his contacts at the Victoria Police to persuade them to investigate his complaint which they would normally have ignored. Twentyman’s actions are still currently being investigated by VEXNEWS and could be referred to the Office of Police Integrity.
After a tough year for Lord Les, Twentyman is already in mourning over the loss of some of his favourite snacks which include white bread and white rice. Presumably this also means no more alcoholic binges at Melbourne’s up-market bars and restaurants and at the Footscray McDonald’s drive-through where he is frequently seen in his late-model black 4WD gas guzzler.
Political insiders say Twentyman is slimming down in preparation for his latest bizarre ultra-left candidacy. They say he is planning to run in the lower house seat of Footscray with the support of extreme left militant groups and lawyer Dennis Galimberti whose enthusiasm for car-park loving has previously attracted the attention of authorities.
Twentyman told the Herald Sun – which Lord Les professes to have on a string – that he weighs an impressive 140 kilograms and that he is aiming to shrink down to 89 kilos.
If only his ego would also submit itself for a lap-band procedure.