UNDER THE KNIFE: Property millionaire Les Twentyman lives in luxury and expects taxpayers to pay for his cosmetic surgery

 lardlordles Lard Lord Les Twentyman’s enormous gut is under attack. Literally.

The hard-living attention-seeking booze-hound is going under the knife, with taxpayers footing the bill for lap-band surgery that leave him with the appetite of Paris Hilton.

The property millionaire who lives in luxurious circumstances in the classy Edgewater estate that will have its own marina and patisserie when completed attacked Hilton for buying clothes when on a recent visit to Melbourne.

Twentyman became notorious in political circles during his disastrous run in the Kororoit by-election when he was shamed after the contents of his own ego-maniacal memoirs were exposed by VEXNEWS’s predecessor The Other Cheek.

So upset was Twentyman at his humiliating loss that he attempted to obtain court orders and Police action to silence critics. VEXNEWS understands that Twentyman corruptly misused his contacts at the Victoria Police to persuade them to investigate his complaint which they would normally have ignored. Twentyman’s actions are still currently being investigated by VEXNEWS and could be referred to the Office of Police Integrity.

After a tough year for Lord Les, Twentyman is already in mourning over the loss of some of his favourite snacks which include white bread and white rice. Presumably this also means no more alcoholic binges at Melbourne’s up-market bars and restaurants and at the Footscray McDonald’s drive-through where he is frequently seen in his late-model black 4WD gas guzzler.

Political insiders say Twentyman is slimming down in preparation for his latest bizarre ultra-left candidacy. They say he is planning to run in the lower house seat of Footscray with the support of extreme left militant groups and lawyer Dennis Galimberti whose enthusiasm for car-park loving has previously attracted the attention of authorities.

Twentyman told the Herald Sun – which Lord Les professes to have on a string – that he weighs an impressive 140 kilograms and that he is aiming to shrink down to 89 kilos.

If only his ego would also submit itself for a lap-band procedure.




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57 responses to “UNDER THE KNIFE: Property millionaire Les Twentyman lives in luxury and expects taxpayers to pay for his cosmetic surgery

  1. anon

    This was the same pisspot, obese, gross, slob complaining last weekend about the wages of CEOs in NFPs.
    The hypocrisy of this obsese uncouth slob is staggering.

  2. Obsessed Much?

    I wouldn’t such a prick about it

    You are a bankrupt and one KFC Bucket away from lap-band surgery yourself.

  3. Anonymous

    Les 20man whines about corporate greed but he his milking that charity of his for all its worth. He’s never met an expense he couldn’t claim.

    He’s got the Aussie workers paying for his sloth rather than paying for it out of his own millions.

  4. Social Justice

    Funny that a so-called “extreme left” candidate preferenced the ALP and that Marlene “Where is My Electorate” Kairouz needed those preferences to get across the line.

    Does that mean that Labor Unity is now taking preferences from the extreme left to get elected?

  5. Big Lee Talarmpit

    He got ahead of me on the list. I’ve already put a call through to Dyke Pike to complain.

  6. Lord Lard Les

    I gratefully received Liberal preferences too.

  7. Kairouz fan

    Didn’t Marlene move into her electorate immediately? She’s working very hard too.

  8. preferences flowing

    It’s just not correct to say Twentyman’s preferences got any one elected. He was the last eliminated, like last night’s big thin barbeque steak cooked up in his atrium with the [deleted].

  9. leslard

    What salary does Les 20guts pay himself? Is it publicly disclosed?

  10. Marlene is a No-Show

    Marlene has yet to be seen in Kororoit. She regularly gets lost, thinking that the West is where cowboy movies are made.

    Every story run by the local media ends with “MP Marlene Kairouz was unavailable for comment.”

  11. local values

    Was that like Les and Phil Cleary showing up to the pre-poll booth and asking everyone handing out how to votes where a local school was. They were tourists. Dumb, loud tourists who thought they knew better than the locals.

  12. richie rich

    I’d like to invest in Les Twentyman’s “charity”. It begins at home.

  13. Deal Breaker


  14. Lord Lesley Twentytonneguts HRH

    Why are you all so unkind about me?
    I am a a poorly paid youth worker, I only have a few drinks to unwind after dealing with all the troubled kids I see, I like to eat and my [deleted] loves my big rotund belly nearly as much as she loves my wedding tackle down under.
    I have been very lucky with my investments but I admit I often forget to pass on a donation or two to my charity employer.
    Hey can one of you arseholes giv us a lift to Walters Wine Bar?

  15. Right Said Fred

    Interesting to see how Les prioritizes the things that are important to him:

    1. Couple of TV docos about himself; and
    2. 4 year old grandchild

    The grand daughter my get up the priority order if there is a spot for her on his DL cards

  16. Marlene KaNOSE

    Hey is DFO Essendon is my electorate? I’m always there. Does that count?

  17. Anonymous

    How much directly and indirectly does Les 20man pocket from his “charity” ?

    If he has nothing to fear he has nothing to hide.

  18. anon

    Hey FATSO if you want to loose get off your big fat lazy arse and exercise, don’t eat so much and stop pouring gallons of piss down your miserable mouth.
    Otherwise pay for itself, don’t expext the Taxpayer to fund it, you bludging leech.

  19. The Truth

    Why is Dean Mighell meeting with the SDA???

  20. Wacky Land

    Les got sacked from a girls school in suspicious circumstances, lost millions of other people’s money at sunshine clowncil, bankrupted charities, and has the audacity to slander someone else as sell-outs and labels them a leach?? Pay for your own lap-bands and lap-dances you filthy maggot Les.

  21. seeing Dean Mighell loves throwing ETU cash at Les Trentyguts maybe he could give Les etu money to get breast enhancements and a penis extension while He’s gettin his guts done and it could save the ETU members paying for Mighells expensive trips to London (the land of the sheman).

  22. anon

    Maybe the SDA sell his transvestite clothing and toys that Dean has a fondness for.

  23. Lay off Les

    I warned you once before that the other person in that photo will give you a good biffing if he sees it. You wisely took it off. Now it’s up again, this time with a speech bubble. I hope for your sake, he doesn’t see it.

  24. Miss mighell bagged the SDA and Karous all over the place when He was Supporting Lord stomach band and now He finally realises He’s insignificant to the ALP He’s going grovelling to them in his leather pants with the arse cut out of them.
    Earth to Mighell, the SDA aren’t that desperate or dumb

  25. Ben Dover

    Who is the other younger man in the photo?
    Is that one of the Lads from Les’s Youth Camps?

  26. anon

    Maybe at the same time Lard Arse Les could have the well overdue prefrontal lobotomy.

  27. Fight You Bastards

    Ben Dover,

    No that’s Russel Gilbert (of Hey, Hey its Saturday fame) who is famed for his quick temper and two-fisted approach to problem solving.

    The blogger here would be advised to leave town pronto if Russel sees the photo!


    I have noticed a number of veiled threats from someone claiming some association with Russell Gilbert, a comedian photographed with Les Twentyman (carrying the oyster tray).

    Don’t know the bloke, and we doubt he’d be inclined to act in the unlawful and thuggish way ascribed to him.

    But should he or anyone else for that matter wish to “box on” over the issue of whether we have a right to publish his photograph when acting in his capacity as Chief Feeder to the Beast of Taxpayer Burden, Comrade Les Twentyman we’d be happy to show the Footscray lad how we Sunbury lads rumble.

    We doubt there’d be much of a smile left on the alleged comic’s face.

    Not that we’re threatening anything, mind you, we just don’t think threats of this kind should be responded to with anything other than a defiantly raised middle finger.

    So all those keen to make physical threats, step up and give us a call on 0415 99 33 26 and we’ll schedule you in for some light sparring, perhaps under the supervision of Socialist Left boxing expert Peter Holding.

    Hmmm, Pay per view revenue…

    Game on.

  29. anon

    Andy don’t waste your time with Gilbert, he is about as funny as a dose of the squirts.
    If he hangs around with “Lipid Legs Lesley” he would be so tanked up he would be non compos mentis.

  30. ER mishaps

    Vexnews, you are a far bigger idiot than I thought. You shouldn’t be promoting snuff video on your blog.

    If you had a boxing match with Russel, he would kill you!

  31. anon

    Russel is a joke, a loser, he is the sort of idiot that would enjoy hanging around with such a descredited barge arse as Lord Lesley Twentytonneguts HRH. As for his idle threats, what a joke!! He is all mouth and no balls. Are you sure he at first did not meet Lesley on a youth ‘camp’?

  32. Anonymous

    Dutch courage from Claret? If I were you I would move to the fortified stuff as an anaesthetic. You will need it, you abhorrent piece of Shit.

  33. The voice

    Twentyman always drank lots of beer and eat free food from the Plough Hotel in Footscray: Slater &Gordon crew, Tanya Stevens (now wife of ex-ALP herrmeyer and of course ALP mates in the West. Food for thought!

  34. Gail

    I haven’t heard you comment about Page 9 of Sunday’s Age and Page 31` of today’s Herald Sun that proves that Les was right and was cheated out of the election by you slanderous backroom scumbags. Anyhow, it’s interesting that you can still run a Web’ and you are a bankrupt, more to the point, a COWARD.

  35. LOL, poor old Liposuction Les feels cheated, in his misery we can only look forward to a re-match in Footscray or wherever the property millionaire plans to run.

    The only authority that could establish whether Lipo Les was hard done by was a court, not the opinion of one bureaucrat. Is it misleading to say a vote for Les Twentyman is a vote for the Liberals? Hardly. Saying a vote for the Liberals is a vote for the Nationals or a vote for the Greens is a vote Labor or whatever is a very standard part of political speech.

    He complains this was misleading. Nonsense. He also claimed another leaflet that pointed out his support for heroin injecting rooms was misleading. That is now clearly proven to be correct.

    Liposuction Les thinks that he should be treated differently. With kid gloves. Why exactly? Because his is a fragile and disturbed ego who craves attention and praise with all fierceness of any other addict.

    He emerged with a greatly diminished public reputation after his antics and month long tantrum of the Kororoit campaign. His was a despicable and disgraceful effort. That’s why he polled so badly.

    And of course Les didn’t challenge the result for one reason. He was advised he didn’t have any grounds for doing so and if he’d lost would have been up for a hell of a costs order.

    Lipo Les – if he was half the man he pretends – would be focused on the misery suffered by thousands of Victorians from the bushfires not on his latest election defeat.

    The bloke is a grub. A self-absorbed pissant and publicity whore. And – like many Victorians – we’ve had a gutful of his rabid egomania.

    As for whether we are cowardly, I would love you to point to one single example of where we’ve ever backed off or backed down in the face of superior wealth or force. We don’t. Never have. We confront bullies – property millionaire entitlement culture wankers like Les included – everyday and in every way.

    We might be lots of things but the only white stripes down backs will be the be fat one down Lipo Les’s back if he refuses to run in Footscray next year.

    He aint seen nuthin’ yet.

  36. Dennis Galimberti and Barbara Chamption

    We pleaded guilty to the carpark incident.

    We’re so sorry.

  37. Dennis Galimberti

    I wasn’t nearly struck off for that either.

  38. Barbara Champion

    No that was the other issue. I don’t think you should about that for legal reasons, Dennis.

  39. Dennis

    I’d cut a lonely figure in jail.

  40. Les

    I’ve been in the South Melbourne cells after that arrest. Best night sleep I’d had in years.

  41. Walter's Wine Bar

    Don’t come back Les, our pianist is still recovering.

  42. Les

    I swear, I didn’t touch his pianist.

  43. Les

    When I run in Footscray things will be different.

    No one will criticise me then. If they do, straight to court to silence them.

    As a wealthy property millionaire with little Dennis Carpark Pervert Lawyer in my pocket I can do whatever I want.

    You watch.

    Those who’ve wronged me will pay in blood. I can be very violent, as my opponents on the football field and close family members can testify.

    There’s a reason why I don’t work in secondary education too. Please don’t ask about that.

  44. Les

    My salary from the 20th Man Fund is undisclosed.

    But I live in luxury in a million dollar property.

    Why should anyone be suspicious?

  45. the [deleted]

    Oh shut up Les, you miserable fuck.

  46. Receptionist

    The women of the Western Times remember what you did Les.

    Your secrets shall be told.

  47. Jihad Jack

    Thank you for freeing me so I can kill.

  48. Anonymous

    Les isn’t drawing a salary from the 20th Man Fund you stupid fat cunts. How he lives is no one’s business. If he has wealth it’s because he earned it not like you Labor crooks.

    The shit that is posted on this vile blog is beyond belief, your demise is looming. You skull should be caved in. It will be.

  49. Anonymous

    How much is Les looting from charity?

  50. puzzled

    If Les isn’t drawing a salary from 20th Man and isn’t hitting up its donors for money and he’s been a battler “youth worker” with no education how does he eat at Florentino’s and Radii so regularly and live at the Edgewater estate?

    Something doesn’t add up…

  51. Greg Harvey

    Les Twentyman and Nathan Sterling use Open Family to support their own life style. Sterling uses this charity to pay for his legal education and drive around in the newest Toyota’s. Never been out on the streets in his life, he just saw a way to live the high life and hob knob.

  52. another anon (hey 2 can play your game Andrew)

    Andrew (Lie-to-you)Landeryou -V-(Lord) Les Twentyman – THE TALE OF TWO TWITTIES!!

    Lie-to-you is a highly intelligent and masterful wordsman who has made it his quest in life to attack the celebrity ‘fat cat’ and champion for the desperate and disenfranchised – ‘Lord’ Les Twentyman.

    Just like the great “Wizard of Oz”, Andrew, in the flesh, is a small, meek, nervous looking individual who when placed ‘face-to-face’ with his adversaries, becomes suddenly mute and unable to get his words out. [VEXNEWS: LOL This person has clearly not met patriot Landeryou who has advised us to note that his view is that while the meek may inherit the Earth, they will not receive the mineral rights. He suggests they might even be from someone who had been in conversation with Twentyman who on the day he withdrew his legal proceedings against our predecessor publication attempted to engage our beloved proprietor in conversation. On legal advice, he said nothing to the wealthy crusher of free speech. As Landeryou was leaving the court triumphant, a number of Twentyman’s goons from the notoriously racist Sunshine Ratepayers tendency screamed abuse with one taking a rather girlish whack at his shoulder. Police are believed to still be investigating the incident, with the effete nancy boys of the Ratepayers denying they enjoy slapping each other after meets.]

    Behind the (computer)screen however, he is as strong as 100 men, as imposing as a giant and a truly great wordsman. And just like the great wizard, Andrew (behind the computer screen) is free to espouse his opinions and musings as fact – because he has never been exposed as a liar and fraud. (Where or where is Toto when you want him to pull the curtain back?)

    Lord Les Twentyman in the flesh is a ‘larger than life'(literally), loud and indeed an opinionated individual who is not in the running for most eloquent man of the year. He however, is happy to face his adversaries, as he has proven by his actions over the past 25 years. Face to face, he is not intimidated in his quest to bring the plight of those less fortunate to the front of his community’s consciencesness – whether his community likes it or not. Having worked with the less fortunate of our community for over 25 years, he is suddenly deemed by Lie-to-you to be a ‘fake’ because he no longer lives in the housing commission house in Braybrook he grew up in!! Shame! Shame! Shame!

    How dare Lord Les think for a moment that he be able to move from his humble Braybrook beginnings, into a new estate with a new house with his new wife after pooling their combined resources. (God forbid anyone else do the same!! Scandal!!)

    His home is worth nowhere near the millions that Lie-to-you continually spouts. (If in doubt please take the time to look at standard homes for sale in the area) [VEXNEWS: We did. It’s ritzy real estate over there, might have come back in price, but there’s little change from a million in the estate he’s in. Good luck to him for being so well off, but you can’t have that much wealth and pretend to be Mother Theresa]

    The mysterious black mercedes or limousine that ‘Lie-to-you’ has frequently referred to as belonging to Lord Les in his blog, is in fact a small AWD made by Hyundai or the like, that belongs to his [deleted]. (Is she no longer allowed her own life/job/car because of her [deleted]?) The fact is Lord Les drives a small sedan plastered with slogans that has kindly been donated by sponsors to support his street work. This in itself is not a new concept just invented for Lord Les, but is a common transaction in the corporate/business sector.

    Business sector I hear you say? Absolutely!!! Where do you think the donations that fund charity programs such as Open Family etc come from? Primarily from the corporate and business sector of our community – thats where!! How does Lord Les and others that represent these charities meet, mingle and attempt to loosen the purse strings of big monied corporate and business sponspors. (OK steel yourselves for this…….. business lunches!!! Shock!! Horror!!) [VEXNEWS: And kudos to him for devising a brilliant way of getting pissed and raising money for his charity at the same time.]

    Ok – here’s something you may not know – steel yourselves. Often is the case that corporate/business sponsors do not sponsor a charity because it is dear to their hearts, but because of their belief in the person out front. That has been Lord Les’s job for many years. The person out front.

    Before you stand up and judge Lord Les – ask yourselves would it be a job you would do(including the ‘getting-your-hands-dirty’ in the back streets of Melbourne’s less salubrious suburbs?) If the answer is NO – hmmm I wonder who you expect to do the job? If the answer is yes, I suggest you get busy, for there still remains a lot of work to be done in our community! [VEXNEWS: Fair enough but we have a lot more respect for the hundreds of people who actually do that work without endlessly talking about it and claiming credit. Saints don’t boast.]

    Oh by the way, as an additional note, the taxpayers did NOT pay for Les’s surgery – and the charities that he represents do not fund his lifestyle – his wage does – but then this is just another of Lie-to-you’s unadulterated LIES. [VEXNEWS: Yes, now what is that salary?]

  53. Peter Milley

    Les Twentyman is far right..where did the idea of him being a lefty begin?
    In fact there are so few lefties nowadays, I can say I don’t know any…where do they hang out?
    Les is the Elmer Gantry of the Western Suburbs…who have the Sun-Herald got waiting in the wings to trot out when he’s gone I wonder.

  54. Kerry

    Ah, Poor Andrew – you’re just as bad as those involved in the ‘dirty tricks campaign’. Only a sick person would still want to run these articles when Les is in a critical condition in hospital. Do me one favour, before making comments on the website – GET THE FACTS RIGHT FIRST!!! Here, Here, Another Anon – there are people out there who have seen and experienced assistance that Les had provided, and sometimes it’s been life saving. You must be a total tosser to want to bring someone down to make yourself feel better. Independent journalism? Obviously not a good one when you can’t get even the basic facts right!!!!

  55. anon

    He is a tax payer!

    I had Private health cover and every time I have to go into hospital for a day, I have expenses like, theatre, excess of $200.00, anathesia, specialists bills, pathology bills and so it goes on, Xrays etc…. so don’t knock anyone for going through Medicare, we ALL pay for it. It is becoming like America, hospital is extremely expensive. People can be asset rich and cash poor, so shove it up your arseholes you pigs who say we cannot USE WHAT WE ARE ALL PAYING FOR, YOU ARE JUST VERY HEALTHY MORONS!!!!

  56. Vaughan

    All this negative stuff must be very dissapointing for the Homeless and Needy. If you are a fake Les, your time will come.

    If you are real than focus on what you claim to beleive in which is helping the Homeless & Needy.

    Maybe it’s time for someone with real compassion and feelings that is not after material goals and rewards.

  57. graeme

    les twentyman..i was never a street kid..but had a few friends who told me things about you.like how you would turn a blind eye to all the crime you let happen..you trained these kids how to be street wise..how to king hit people in the city.and gave them all the go ahead to do what they liked..who were you. god..no way.. i suppose you really suffered as a kid and havnt got any help yourself..dont like you and that priest father michael glennon.you know what glennon got jailed for dont you..maybe your turn will come before you pass on.

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