YUM: Greens party kill "endangered" crayfish while on seafood diet

Greens party activists have killed a freshwater crayfish they claimed was a rare and endangered species during an environmental protest over Australia Day weekend.

Greens Victorian upper house MP Sue Pennicuik was believed to be present at the protest rally, appropriately enough held at Brown Mountain.

The enviro-rebels claimed that they had found a rare and endangered species of crayfish in an old growth forest that is being logged.

However, sources within the responsible government department, the Department of Sustainability and the Environment, confirmed the crayfish in question was not endangered but was a common cousin of the species the Greens were getting hot and sweaty about.

In circumstances VEXNEWS believes can be called suspicious given the tasty nature of crayfish, the protesters illegally removed the crayfish from the property without authority, with the poor creature subsequently “dying in transit” while under the care of Greens party supporters and activists. It is not confirmed whether any of those involved were in possession of lemon, a tangy butter sauce, a large boiling pot, picnic blanket and several bottles of chilled dry riesling at the time of the offence.

We understand environmental authorities within DSE are contemplating charging them with a variety of offences related to taking the crayfish from the protected area.

MEETINGS: Left to discuss preselection stability deal

The Victorian Socialist Left is meeting this Sunday to discuss recent developments including the Left-Right peace deal that has prompted great disturbance within the NUW and SDA.

UNSURPRISING: Labor's imploding "star" cuts Party off without a penny

Former state Labor MP Evan Thornley and his charming wife Tracey Ellery have severed their fundraising ties with the ALP following the debacle of his rejection of a Brumby government ministry and his acceptance of a job with a company that has its hand out for many millions of dollars of government subsidy.

Their vanity book publishing company Pluto Press – that had published a number of odd tomes ranging from the story of Australia’s Princess Mary Donaldson of Denmark to previously undiscovered manuscripts from the Race Mathews Collection – had previously subscribed to Progressive Business, Labor’s fundraising arm.

The Progressive Business subscription fee for corporates is normally around $1000 a year with events and functions potentially costing thousands more.

Sources familiar with the affairs of Progressive Business say that they were recently informed that Pluto Press was no longer interested in maintaining its membership. Tracey Ellery is believed to have personally ordered the severing of ties.

One disappointed Labor figure wondered “Was it simply a membership of convenience?”

Another thought it reflected on Thornley’s complete absence of loyalty and decency:

“He was happy to be seen to support Labor when it suited his ambitions. It’s quite ridiculous, he spent a fortune trying to get into Parliament and is now exiting with such a lack of grace that it’s little wonder we all hate him. In these fractious times, the one thing everyone can agree on is how evil Thornley proved to be.”

Thornley’s access to and relationships with government clearly played a crucial role in him being offered the chief executive’s position in the Australian arm of Better Place, a start-up company in Silicon Valley that plans to extract very large sums of money from taxpayers in the jurisdictions it hopes to operate in.

He has “truly p*ssed in the well”, one well-placed business observer familiar with Thornley’s method told VEXNEWS this afternoon. “I doubt he’ll still be there by this time next year. And this start-up is paying him $700k a year. It’s clearly going to end in tears, isn’t it?”

THE OFFICE: Parliamentary offices cause complaint

There are some Victorian state MP’s who complain from time to time about their office accommodations. It’s the price you pay for being in a splendid old building. Or nasty-ass Chookshed as the case may be. In the US Capitol, one office is a former lift shaft, another a converted male toilet with two former urinals still there.

DETERMINED: Illinois Governor fighting on while Geraldo gets his man

If FOX News’s Geraldo Rivera wants to interview you, he is going to interview you. Check this out.

UNDER THE KNIFE: Property millionaire Les Twentyman lives in luxury and expects taxpayers to pay for his cosmetic surgery

  Lard Lord Les Twentyman’s enormous gut is under attack. Literally.

The hard-living attention-seeking booze-hound is going under the knife, with taxpayers footing the bill for lap-band surgery that leave him with the appetite of Paris Hilton.

The property millionaire who lives in luxurious circumstances in the classy Edgewater estate that will have its own marina and patisserie when completed attacked Hilton for buying clothes when on a recent visit to Melbourne.

Twentyman became notorious in political circles during his disastrous run in the Kororoit by-election when he was shamed after the contents of his own ego-maniacal memoirs were exposed by VEXNEWS’s predecessor The Other Cheek.

So upset was Twentyman at his humiliating loss that he attempted to obtain court orders and Police action to silence critics. VEXNEWS understands that Twentyman corruptly misused his contacts at the Victoria Police to persuade them to investigate his complaint which they would normally have ignored. Twentyman’s actions are still currently being investigated by VEXNEWS and could be referred to the Office of Police Integrity.

After a tough year for Lord Les, Twentyman is already in mourning over the loss of some of his favourite snacks which include white bread and white rice. Presumably this also means no more alcoholic binges at Melbourne’s up-market bars and restaurants and at the Footscray McDonald’s drive-through where he is frequently seen in his late-model black 4WD gas guzzler.

Political insiders say Twentyman is slimming down in preparation for his latest bizarre ultra-left candidacy. They say he is planning to run in the lower house seat of Footscray with the support of extreme left militant groups and lawyer Dennis Galimberti whose enthusiasm for car-park loving has previously attracted the attention of authorities.

Twentyman told the Herald Sun – which Lord Les professes to have on a string – that he weighs an impressive 140 kilograms and that he is aiming to shrink down to 89 kilos.

If only his ego would also submit itself for a lap-band procedure.

CONTEMPTIBLE: DPP silent about Fairfax's tsunami against Theo but cries foul when he protests his innocence

The Victorian taxpayers pay the Director of its Office of Public Prosecutions over $6000 per week to assist the “fair and effective operation of the Victorian criminal justice system” by “offering a high quality independent prosecution service.”

The OPP’s website proclaims its vision is to “make a difference in the justice system and the wider community.”

Making a difference. How very social workerish.Mmm. We’d really just rather they’d keep the streets safe by helping send villains in jail.

Instead, increasingly we see its Director – and this phenomenon is worse in other states – playing politics and playing games.

His past antics have prompted the Chief Justice of the state’s Supreme Court to publicly rebuke the current Director Jeremy Rapke for having inappropriate private conversations with judges in an attempt to influence their decisions and behaviour. Chief Justice Warren condemned him for risking the independence and impartiality of the criminal justice system.

That’s polite talk for being stunned that he would try to nobble judges with private conversations.

Another shameful example of the DPP acting like he’s a US style District Attorney running for election and desperate to get high-profile scalps regardless of the truth played itself out yesterday when he launched an attack on MP Theo Theophanous for daring to publicly deny the charge made against him by a forty-five year old woman from Greece.

When the accuser paid out on Theo in The Age in the most outrageous and vile way last year, complete with references to body odour and other unpleasantries, the Police and Office of Public Prosecutions were silent.

When the Victoria Police – in what many see as a cruel, brutal and despicable act of intimidation and thuggery – after an eighteen month long investigation into a complaint made related to an alleged incident ten years – charged the parliamentarian on Christmas Eve, the office of Public Prosecutions was silent.

When that occasionally irritating blowhard Neil Mitchell who works for Fairfax’s Evil and Shrinking Empire that now includes 3AW attacked the accused “for a form of jury tampering” yesterday (for daring to publicly deny the charges made against him). The DPP said nothing about that very serious and highly irresponsible claim. He wouldn’t dare mess with a shock-jock for fear of being perpetually slagged. Mitchell thought it terrible Theo was putting up a public defence. He was silent about his colleague Derryn Hinch who was recently falsely accused of rape and also maintained his innocence, loudly, on his own radio show on that same station that employs Mitchell.

But when the accused put forward not much more than a denial and a series of statements complaining about the predicament he is in, that prompts the well-paid DPP to investigate whether the accused had committed a contempt of court.

Again, this is clearly designed to intimidate the parliamentarian into silence.

Silence about a case that already has many in Melbourne shaking their heads in doubt. A case we don’t yet know much about but many suspect it will boil down to a question of whether we believe the accused’s story or the accuser. A case that should cause a shiver to run down the spine of every man, especially those in positions of prominence. Every relationship in their past, even from ten years, sexual or otherwise, could be a time-bomb.

Some say – no doubt his lawyers say – the parliamentarian should be silent to remove the chance of him saying the wrong thing.

We say he’s entitled to put his side of the story, inside and outside court. Particularly when the accuser has so much to say, in the most colourful and odious terms, cloaked as she is by anonymity.

Only two people can be certain of the truth in this case.

But there’s another truth too. The truth contained in the free and frank discussion of what goes on in our community and in our legal system. And that’s worth fighting for.

And if this case goes horribly wrong for the Police and DPP, it might well also be worth fighting for people with sounder judgment in these important offices of public trust.