GETTING LAID: Councillor Ng cunning linguistics dupe The Age

catherrineng1 The Age’s Kate Lahey today splashed with a bizarre tale alleging “cyber-warfare” by Lord Mayoral candidate Peter McMullin in that he was running Google ads including his rival Catherine Ng as a keyword.

Not sure how that qualifies as a front-page yarn, even in The Aged, but even more amusing was that the subject of Kiss-me Kate’s affection, Catherine Ng, appears to have done exactly the same kind of online marketing.

petermc A screenshot provided to VEXNEWS shows that Ng’s advertisements appeared after a search on Peter McMullin (and other candidates) over this weekend.

Poor Kate it seems neglected to ask Ng whether she’d done the same as Ng was alleging of McMullin. Or perhaps Ng told her new-found friend at the left-wing newspaper a porkie.

But what we do know is that the person who devised this evil scheme is a very interesting and colourful chap, who VEXNEWS can only commend for his wry-smile trickery: Ian Hanke.

Once condemned by Labor Leader Loon Mark Latham as the head of the Howard Government dirty tricks unit (mainly because he kept digging up gems about Latham’s love life), we hear that Hanke has emerged as Ng’s chief campaign strategist.

Being a man of highly regarded discernment and expensive tastes, he’s modestly charged her $20,000 for the gig, according to sources familiar with the matter. The publisher of VEXNEWS, Andrew Landeryou, allegedly owes Hanke a thousand dollars too after an unsuccessful bet on the result of an election back in the day. Landeryou thought the Greens might overtake Tanner in the federal seat of Melbourne, Hanke had more faith in the Socialist Left candidate. Ng is considered far more likely to pay the well organised consultant, who has been wisely prompt in issuing invoices to the TAFE employee Ng from his bunker at Level 8 460 Collins Street.

The man – known by friend and foe alike as “The Skull” for his tradition of shaving his head for federal elections – who brought the world propaganda coups like Children Overboard, which framed a bunch of potential terrorist/asylum seekers for throwing their kids in the ocean to assist their immigration applications, has now got a much tougher assignment than keeping Peter Reith and Kevin Andrews out of hot water with the left-wing press.

Ng’s strong connections of this kind with the Libs are probably the only thing going for her campaign which was derailed by her own confession that her attendance record at council and council committee meetings “exceeds 50%”. Hardly the proudest boast of a public official. Particularly one whose attendance record at free dinners and opening nights approaches a perfect score.

The Lord Mayoral aspirant is seen as highly erratic and easily stressed which not even Hanke’s famous neck massages can assuage. The many reports of her finger-pointing and shaky display at the Carlton Residents’ Association a couple of nights ago shows that even in the hands of master craftsmen like Ian Hanke, it is extremely difficult to turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.

Hopefully there’ll be enough left in Ng’s silk purse to discharge her obligations after the ballot has been counted weekend after next.

At least Hanke is being paid to help the vile woman whose halitosis is the stuff of Town Hall legend. Kate Lahey at The Age – by contrast – gives her rides for free.

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31 Comments

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31 responses to “GETTING LAID: Councillor Ng cunning linguistics dupe The Age

  1. Anonymous

    Catherine Ng is not a good candidate. She will not be a good Lord Mayor for Melbourne. Darebin perhaps. Brimbank perhaps. Even Boroondara. Not Melbourne. We deserve something better, to plagiarise Darebin candidate patriot Steven Tsitas.

  2. sweet

    Jeez, Hankee the Christmas poo has come down in the world.

  3. Filthy Grub

    Hanke is a disgrace. So much for Ng being “independent”. What a filthy liar.

  4. wipe ye old arse with the Dirty Hanke

    What sort of hymns are in Hanke’s Hymn book?

    “I’d turn gay for Olexander”

    “Get Thee Behind Me Jamie (Briggs)”

    “Towelhead, row your boat ashore”

    “Abide with NG”

    “Douglas Campbell is my shepherd”

    “How Great Thou Fart”

    “Battle Hymn of The Monarchist”

    “Hark! The Striking Dockers Sing Glory to Peter Reith”

    “O Come All Ye Branchstacks”

    “What A Friend We Have in Kevin (Andrews)”

  5. an old Negro spiritual

    Amazing dis-grace! how twee the sound,
    That raved a wretch like NG!
    She once was lost, but now iz bound;
    Was bludging, but now wants to proxy.

    ‘Twas Louey that taught her heart to fear,
    And Dear Douglas was peeved;
    How precious did that Cath appear
    The hour she first emailed !

    Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares
    The staff have already come;
    ‘Tis Hanke who brought her votes thus far,
    And disgrace will lead her home to 104.

  6. Anonymous

    Forget Hanke. What about the ALP dirt unit? There is no bigger grub in politics than that c#nt Droutsas.

  7. Dr Dre

    Vote “from”? Do you mean vote “for”?

  8. This is a classic case of Ng crying wolf by falsely claiming that there is some under-handed actions when there is none. It provides good copy and Catherine in the process of making these false claims hopes to gain some free advertising benefit.

    If you do a google on the City of Melbourne elections you will find that Catherine Ng’s running mate Gary Singer comes up ahead of the rest. The reason is simple, Gary Singer has paid Google to have his name and his web site to be top of the list. This is based on keywords used in a search.

    Catherine Ng is either extremely stupid, ill-informed or is deliberatly seeking to decieve voters by making out there is a conspiracy of fraud when there is none.

    The Age is stupid enough to fall for this scam and in the process has provided Catherine Ng with a free kick without being honest or critical of what is being said.

  9. Fatty Doyle

    VOTE 1: Fatty Doyle.
    Fatty will wine, dine and 69 for all.

  10. Geelong veteran

    Melbcity, I don’t think The Age fell for anything.

    They have it in for McMullin after he successfully sued them over one of Royce Millar’s hatchet jobs on the Geelong council.

    Good to see Kate Lahey brings the same tawdry values to the table. What’s her background ?

  11. penis

    droutsas is a fucking legend, just ask those dumb libs who got clusterfucked by his campaigning skills. Whitehorse once the land of the Libs, now the land of the droutsas! all hail a great campaigner.

  12. NG = no good

    I hear Ng is being secretly investigated by the Ombudsman over her ties to certain Chinese developers.

  13. Big hears All

    She screamed at her Council Candidate Boozy S.hanahan to rat on his Labor collegues and he did.
    Better to stab others in the back than get it myself and my ears had had enough is what he is spruiking around the many pubs and bars he frequents.
    Big hears all

  14. Anonymous

    me thinks you are attributing a certain cunning to Mr Hanke that is perhaps underserved. Anyone who has been in the presence of the hood when he is using a computer knows that he is a luddite and wouldn’t have a clue what google is.

  15. Jamie Briggs

    Yeh, Hanke is a high functioning shaven caveman with no politics and no clue.

    His taste in women extends to drunk, drunk drivers, pill poppers and the staff of Andrew Olexander (several categories overlap of course).

  16. No Go

    Could Catherine Ng be in breach of Section 55 and 57 of the Local Government Act in that she has made false and misleading statements.

    .

  17. Just how independent is Catherine

    Catherine Ng claims that she is “Independent” but the fact is she is very much connected to the Liberal party though her associates, campaign manager and her husband’s activities.

    At the recent public meeting held in Carlton Catherine Ng stated that she wants to use town Hall as a vehicle for her campaign against the State Government in 2010.

    Catherine Ng’s independence goes as far as even handing out HTV cards for the liberal party during the 2004 and 2007 Federal elections.

  18. Anonski

    Q. Just how independent is Catherine?

    A. About as independent as Peter McMullin.

  19. The Crying game

    Rumour has it that Catherine Ng has offered Hanke a lucurative gig as the City of Melbourne’s PR consultant if she wins. If she loses do not expect her to use Hanke’s sleave to cry on. He will want his money upfront.

  20. NG = No Go

    The difference is that Ng is guilty of voter fraud by claiming she’s independent when her campaign is run by the Liberal’s worst crook.

    McMullin has never claimed to be independent. That’s why Ng will probably be disqualified if she is elected.

  21. Catherine nO gO

    Anon Ski

    Peter McMullin has not tried to hide or deny his affiliation with the Australian Labor Party. Nor has he tried to hide the fact that his Deputy Lord Mayor Candidate, Tim Wilson, is a senior member of the Liberal Party.

    Unlike Catherine Ng Peter McMullin is not proposing to use ratepayers funds and resources to mount a campaign in opposition to the State Government. Something I consider to be a total misuse of the office of Lord Mayor and demonstrates clearly that Catherine is not a person worthy of support

  22. Winning the war

    All this talk of McMullin. Evertime Ng opens her mouth slagging off mcMullin, it just gives him airtime – and votes!

  23. Pillar of democracy

    If there are two candidates that are not worthy of support it would be Catherine Ng and Robert Doyle.

    Doyle has shown nothing but contempt for the electorate. He has put forward his nomination for Lord Mayor but has failed to actively particpate in the campiagn. He failed to front up to meet the candidates meetings and he failed to turn up to the Press Club’s Lord Mayor Candidate’s breakfast today.

  24. Andrew Olexander (the real one)

    For goodness sakes – I have nothing to do with Ng at all – so leave me out of this one!!!

    I actually voted for Columb – Snedden.

  25. Andrew Olexander (the false one)

    No I didnt. I voted Singer – Team Melbourne.

    But I agree, leave me out of this.

  26. Ollie

    How many of me are there out there?

    Wouldn’t vote for NG or HANKE in a pink fit. It’s her homophobe boyfriend I can’t stand – Douglas Campbell!

    And please, also leave me out of this!!

  27. Hanke panke

    I think there is too much Hanke panke going on between Ng and Ian Hanke.

    Do not be fooled. Catherine Ng is not as independent as she claims to be. Her husband works for red Ted and Catherine has been actively campaigning for the liberal party against the ALP in the 204 and 2007 federal Elections. She is very much associated and connected with Liebral party associtons including that of her husbands.

  28. douglas

    I’m thinking of leaving her anyway when she moves to West melbourne.

  29. Vote Fraud

    Need proof of the Age cover-up conspiracy to defraud?

    If you take a closer look at the Google screen shot graphic published in the Age you will see an ad (slightly obscured) on the right hand side of the screen for Gary Singer.

    Gary Singer, in association with the Age, is guility of deliberately seeking to mislead the public when they published the obviously false statement “Cr Singer has an ad on Google. But like Cr Ng’s, his ad only appears when his name is typed.

    The google search depicted in the Age photo was for “Catherine Ng”. What was Singer’s ad doing on this page and more important WHY DID THE AGE SEEK TO COVER UP THIS FACT?

  30. VEXNEWS

    That is a very good point, well spotted.

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