OMG: "Victoria's version of Chernobyl" causes CFA to order thousands to relocate from their homes

toxictipterror The Victorian Government’s Country Fire Authority has told thousands of residents in the Brookland Greens estate it is no longer safe to stay in their homes because of the Casey council’s toxic tip.

There are over eight hundred homes in the estate, with thousands of residents.

In an “awareness message” posted on their website, the CFA said:

the most safe option at this stage is for all residents of the estate to relocate from their homes.

A well placed source within the agency told VEXNEWS confidentially, “The levels of methane gas we have detected in various parts of the estate are twelve times the safe limit. We had no choice but to recommend to residents they leave. It isn’t safe there. This could be Victoria’s version of Chernobyl.”

Potential triggers of a Cranbourne inferno include people cooking in their homes, smoking cigarettes, mobile phone towers, electricity infrastructure, lawn mowers, automobiles. “Anything metallic that creates a spark when it connects with something could be a big problem” one expert told VEXNEWS this afternoon.

This is a shocking new development in the toxic tip crisis, that threatens to engulf the Casey council, tightly managed by Mike Tyler its chief executive. The landfill site was opened in the early 1990s and was managed by Tyler and his team since 1994 when he was promoted to become the council boss. Since then his job has never been re-advertised despite the protests of several councillors.

We understand that a pack of journalists has descended on the estate, picking up on what could be the greatest council-caused environmental catastrophe in Victorian history.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “OMG: "Victoria's version of Chernobyl" causes CFA to order thousands to relocate from their homes

  1. Kylie Lambert

    I started this rumour as I want a nice stock of cheap homes to buy up and make a fat profit on, as I will when this beat-up fizzles out. My friends at the EPA are helping me out by putting on a nice panic. $$$$$ for me! Don’t let on — these homes are built on concrete slabs with impermeable membranes. They are gas-proof.

  2. Anonymous

    Oh my, another Labor Council fuck up? Whats new??

  3. anon

    I wouldn’t worry too much, the whole area out there is only Bogan Land.

  4. Inga Binga

    There has been a awful mistake, it was just odours from my Outhouse after I dropped my guts after a vindaloo lunch.

  5. evil bastard

    to be fair, casey council knocked back the development. vcat allowed it

  6. colin christensen

    I came across your new site when looking for stuff on Cranbourne.

    I note that you have chosen to expand the magnitude of a serious problem manifold by whacking in the whole damned development. I think you could have done better. May I suggest you go even better with “Millions told to flee…”, making use of the whole of Victoria.

    I took the trouble to have a look then at your About page. “This is what journalism should be.” Uh uh! This is what jurnalism IS if you read the British Sun newspapers. It is not at all what journalism should be.

  7. Noel Spurr

    THE STATE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BUY THE HOMES OF THOSE ADVISED TO MOVE OUT, THE PRICE SHOULD BE AT THE MARKET VALUE PRIOR TO THE EMERGENCY CAUSED BY THIS PLANNING STUFFUP BY VCAT AND COUNCIIL.

    WHEN THE AREA BECOMES HABITABLE AGAIN, AND ONLY THEN, THOSE HOUSES COULD BE USED FOR LOW INCOME HOUSING COMMISSION HOMES, OR SOLD BACK INTO THE MARKET.

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